The day Liam stormed out of the house in a huff, I braved the pouring rain to find him. I never imagined a live power line would snap and strike me, costing me my arms forever. From then on, my dream of becoming a doctor shattered, and I became a permanent fixture in hospitals. I tried to end my life many times, but my family always pulled me back from the brink. Liam knelt before me, pleading: “I’m so sorry, Chloe. Please, just don’t die. Can you do that for me?” Sarah quit her job to watch over me day and night. David worked himself to the bone, picking up extra shifts, even taking a transfer overseas, all to fund my recovery. I thought things would slowly get better. But just as I was finally learning to adapt, to use my feet where my hands once were, I overheard their conversation by accident: “I wish… I wish we had just let her go back then.” That evening, I crept up to the rooftop alone. The wind howled. I sniffled, fighting back tears. “Chloe! Don’t move!” Sarah ran over, pulling me back from the edge of the rooftop with all her might. The force was too much; we both tumbled to the ground. Before I could even get up, she raised her hand, and a sharp, stinging slap echoed across my cheek. “Are you insane? Are you trying to kill me too?” My ears rang, and my cheek burned with a fierce sting. The next second, Sarah pulled me into her arms, holding me in a death grip. “If you dare to jump, I’ll go with you! I swear, I’ll follow you!” Her scorching tears dripped onto my neck. Liam stood panting beside us; he’d run so hard he nearly tripped. Seeing me safe, his knees buckled, and he almost collapsed. Muffled against Sarah’s shoulder, I whispered: “I wasn’t trying to die, honest.” “I just needed some air, a moment to clear my head.” Sarah stiffened, but her embrace tightened even more. After a long moment, Liam turned away, his shoulders slumped. “Let’s go. Let’s go home.” Back downstairs, I rinsed my feet under the faucet as usual, then settled at the dining table. The food, reheated too many times, looked dull and unappetizing. I lowered my head, my toes expertly gripping the spoon, slowly lifting each mouthful to my lips. Sarah sat across from me, her eyes red and swollen. Liam poked at his food with his fork, not taking a single bite. “Chloe, Ashley’s coming over tomorrow. We’re going to talk about our engagement.” I paused, then nodded. “Oh, that’s great. I actually have plans with a friend tomorrow, so I won’t be back for dinner.” Liam lowered his head, taking a large spoonful of rice. We both knew the truth. Since my accident, I barely left the hospital, and I’d lost touch with everyone I knew. I had no friends left. That night, Sarah was in the bathroom, drawing my bath as she always did. I stood in the doorway, watching her bend over to test the water temperature. “Mom. Can I grow my hair long?” She slowly straightened up, turning to look at me. “Why the sudden change of heart?” I looked at myself in the mirror. “Long hair could… cover them. Make it less obvious that I don’t have hands.” The washcloth slipped from Sarah’s hand, splashing into the tub. After a long moment, she bent down to pick it up, rinsing it repeatedly under the faucet. The rushing water almost drowned out her suppressed sobs. Her back to me, her voice thick with emotion, she said: “Yes, my darling. Long hair will make you the most beautiful girl.” The next morning, I was woken by the doorbell. It wasn’t even eight yet when Sarah, looking flustered, opened the door. “Coming!” A cheerful female voice replied: “Hi Sarah! I’m so sorry, I know I’m early. My parents will be here a bit later.” I sat up, pushing open my bedroom door with my foot. In the living room, a girl stood beside Liam. Her long hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she held a beautifully wrapped gift. She was smiling and chatting with Sarah. At the sound of my movement, she turned, her gaze falling, just for a moment, on my empty sleeves.
I turned, wanting to duck back into my room, but Ashley Thompson just smiled, walking right up to me. “You must be Chloe. Liam talks about you all the time. It’s so good to finally meet you!” She pulled a soft grey scarf from a gift bag and gently draped it around my shoulders. “I saw this scarf on a trip; it’s cashmere, super soft. The color will look gorgeous on you.” The scarf carried a faint, pleasant scent. I froze, my toes curling instinctively. “Thank you.” Liam and Sarah stood by, their expressions tight with tension. I lowered my head, wanting to retreat. “I’m sorry, I actually have plans today, so I won’t be staying for lunch.” Ashley’s hand rested gently on my shoulder. “I’ve tried to visit so many times, but we always miss each other. Today, I really want to spend some time talking to you.” She smiled playfully. “Liam, don’t you agree?” Liam looked at me. “Chloe, could you maybe reschedule your plans?” I quietly hummed my agreement. By the time I had washed up and settled on the sofa, Ashley, wearing Sarah’s apron, was already in the kitchen helping out. She moved with practiced ease, chatting with Sarah as she worked, making my mom smile. Ashley placed a fruit platter on the coffee table and sat down beside me. “Chloe, your eyes are so beautiful. You should smile more often.” I forced a small smile, unsure how to respond. Ashley’s parents arrived next. Mr. and Mrs. Thompson were impeccably dressed and spoke with polite reserve. The gifts they’d brought piled up on one corner of the coffee table. When lunch was served, I stood up. “I think I’ll eat in my room, you all…” Ashley gently took my arm, pulling a chair closer to hers. “You sit right here next to me.” Sarah opened her mouth, then closed it. Liam looked like he wanted to say something, but held back. I ended up sitting down. At first, everyone chatted about the weather and preliminary wedding plans. Ashley even served me, naturally, as if we’d known each other forever. Until my toes, with practiced ease, gripped the soup spoon. The smiles vanished from Mr. and Mrs. Thompson’s faces. They set down their spoons and exchanged a look. Only Ashley’s voice continued, a lonely sound at the dinner table. After the meal, Mr. Thompson took a sip of tea. “Liam is a good young man; we have no objections, as long as you two are happy together.” He paused, his gaze slowly sweeping in my direction. “But there’s one condition: once you’re married, your priority must be your own family. Your sister has parents to care for her, Liam. You can’t keep putting her first in everything.” Liam’s back immediately stiffened. “Mr. Thompson, Chloe is my sister. I will never abandon her.” Mr. Thompson raised a hand, cutting him off. “But you’re starting your own family now. You can’t take care of her forever.” “I can!” “No, you can’t! Not unless you don’t want to marry my daughter.” The air grew thick with tension. “He can.” All eyes turned to me. I stared at my empty sleeves, then repeated softly: “Liam can do it.” Ashley jumped to her feet. “Dad! What are you saying?” “I won’t agree to that! Chloe is like my sister, now and always!” Mr. Thompson’s voice suddenly rose. “What about you? How will you live your life? Always taking a backseat to her?” Mr. Thompson grabbed her wrist. “Come on, we’re leaving!” Ashley was half-dragged, half-pulled by her parents towards the door. She looked back, tears streaming down her face. Liam pulled out a cigarette pack and walked onto the balcony. His lighter clicked several times before the flame finally caught. I watched him through the glass door. His back was hunched, smoke rising in plumes, only to be snatched away by the wind. In that moment, looking at my limp, empty sleeves, a wave of nausea washed over me. Suddenly, I hated myself. Deeply, utterly, terribly hated myself.
In the middle of the night, I woke to sounds from the living room. I padded out barefoot. Liam was bent over, hastily pulling on his shoes. “Liam, where are you going?” He froze. “Ashley snuck out. She just called, she’s over by the marshlands park.” “I’m going to pick her up now.” I paused, then nodded. “It’s cold out, make sure you bundle up.” He stood up, looking at me. “Go back to sleep, Chloe.” I forced a small smile. “I’ll leave the door unlocked. I’ll wait for you to bring Ashley home.” Liam smiled too, reaching out to ruffle my hair. “Okay.” The door closed softly. Streetlights blinked off one by one, and dawn slowly broke. Liam didn’t come back. When Sarah got up, she was startled to see me curled up on the sofa. “Chloe? Why are you sleeping out here?” “Liam went to pick up Ashley. He’s not back yet.” Sarah dialed the number. It rang for an agonizingly long time before someone finally answered. As she listened, her face slowly drained of all color, turning chalk-white. “Which hospital? We’re coming right away!” Sarah turned to me, her lips trembling. “Ashley… she was hit by a car.” The light outside the emergency room was blindingly white. When we rushed there, we spotted Liam leaning against the wall from afar. His clothes were dusty, and a bruise darkened his temple. Mr. Thompson, who had been so polite and composed yesterday, now had bloodshot eyes and was clutching Liam’s collar with a death grip. “This is all because of you! All of it, you damn scumbag! If it wasn’t for you, my daughter wouldn’t have run out in the middle of the night! She wouldn’t have been hit by a car!” Sarah stumbled forward, bowing her head repeatedly, clasping her hands together in desperate apology. Her voice trembled, tears streaming down her face. “We were wrong, we failed as parents.” Mr. Thompson shoved Liam away, pointing a finger at Sarah. “Get out!” “Take your son, and that… disabled girl, and get out! Never show your faces here again!” “If anything happens to Ashley, I swear I’ll make you pay!” We stood there for a long time. Until the emergency room door opened. The doctor emerged, pulling down his mask. “The patient is out of immediate danger, but we’ll need to keep her under observation.” Mr. and Mrs. Thompson immediately rushed towards him. Liam took half a step forward, then froze. Sarah clutched his arm. “Let’s go, let’s go home for now.” On the drive home, the car was filled with an oppressive silence. Liam gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. I sat in the back, watching the back of his head. For a fleeting second, I saw him quickly lift a hand to wipe at his eyes. Back at home, I retreated to my bedroom. I don’t know how much time passed before a muffled sob reached me. “Sarah, it’s my fault. I ruined Ashley’s life.” “If anything serious happens to her…” “Why didn’t I just agree yesterday?! Why didn’t I just say yes?!” His cries grew louder. Then, I heard his hoarse voice: “If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have stopped her from dying in the first place.” Then, a sharp, resounding slap echoed through the quiet house. Followed by Sarah’s raw, broken wails. I leaned my back against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor. Tears streamed silently down my face, tracing paths to my neck, soaking into my collar.
The next afternoon, my cell phone rang. I took a few shaky breaths, then used my toes to swipe and answer. My dad’s face appeared on the screen. Behind him was a makeshift work camp, the sky a dreary grey. He looked thinner, and his skin was much darker. “Chloe, have you eaten yet?” “How have you been doing? Are your arms still hurting?” I forced a smile, trying to keep my voice light. “Yeah, I ate. I’m doing great.” “Dad, you’ve lost weight, and you’re so tanned.” He waved a dismissive hand. “I’m fine, honey. Your old man’s tough.” “This project here is almost done. Once I get paid, I’ll come back and find you the best physical therapist.” Just then, someone off-screen shouted his name, urging him back to work. “Dad, you should go. I’m really fine, truly.” “You need to take care of yourself out there, don’t get sick, eat well, stay warm…” I rattled on, and David smiled. “Alright, I gotta go. You listen to Sarah, okay?” I set the phone down, rubbing my cheek against my knee. It was wet. The house was quiet. Sarah and Liam had left for the hospital early that morning. On the living room table, a plate of food waited for me. I sat down and ate, mouthful by mouthful, very slowly. Then, I went back to my room and opened my closet with my foot. In the very back, hung a light blue dress with delicate embroidery on the bodice. Liam bought it for me with his very first paycheck. He said, “Our Chloe will look just like a princess in this.” That felt like a lifetime ago. It took me far longer than usual, using my feet and teeth, to awkwardly put it on. The zipper was in the back, out of my reach, so the dress hung open. Sitting before the mirror, I stared at my reflection. The dress, unzipped, hung loosely on my frame, its sleeves dangling empty. Suddenly, I just wanted to hear Sarah’s voice. I picked up my phone, dialing Sarah’s number with my foot. It rang and rang, but no one answered. I tried again, with the same result. Then I called Liam. This time, it was quickly hung up. Seconds later, a text message popped up. Just three words. “I’m so annoyed.” I stared at those three words for a long, long time. Then, I typed out a reply. “I’m sorry.” Slipping on my softest canvas shoes, I left the house. At the far end of the apartment complex, there was a building tucked away in a secluded corner. I didn’t take the elevator. Instead, I started climbing the stairs. It backed onto a wall, and below it was an overgrown patch of shrubs, usually deserted, their branches looking half-dead. I climbed all the way to the top floor—the eighteenth. The wind on the rooftop was just as fierce as I remembered. I walked to the edge, sat down, and let my legs dangle over. This way, I wouldn’t fall on anyone. I fumbled a painkiller from my dress pocket, ripped open the foil with my teeth, and swallowed it. I was afraid of the pain, and even more afraid of failing, of surviving and being even more pathetic. Then, I gently leaned forward. The wind roared violently from below, filling my ears with its deafening shriek. … Sarah and Liam returned that evening. As their car pulled into the apartment complex, they saw a dense crowd gathered in the distance. A chilling premonition flashed through them. Sarah pushed open the car door, her legs giving out, almost sending her to her knees. Liam steadied her, and they both stumbled, running towards the crowd. They forced their way to the very front. In a cleared-out space, a grimy plastic tarp covered something. A sliver of light blue fabric peeked out from under the edge, along with a small wisp of dark hair. Sarah, like a madwoman, pushed past everyone trying to stop her and tore away the plastic tarp.
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