The day Jake Miller confessed to the pretty transfer student, everyone thought I would lose it and run over to cause a scene. But I never showed, not even after it was all over. Jake had no clue that right then, I was sitting on his roommate’s bed, wearing his roommate’s hoodie, asking in frustration: “I got your bed all wet. How are you gonna sleep tonight?” Liam Carter looked away, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he handed me a towel. “Go dry your hair. I’ll change the sheets before you crash.” Jake was going to confess to that pretty transfer student. He’d told everyone to keep it from me. He didn’t know some blabbermouth couldn’t wait to spill. Everyone knew I’d had a thing for Jake forever, even dreamed about marrying him one day. This time, Jake seemed totally head over heels. People were betting I’d throw a fit, cry, make a huge deal. Everyone loves that kinda drama. They were all waiting for me to snap and rush in to ruin it. But nope. Even after Jake’s successful confession, I was a no-show. The crowd, three layers deep, started getting bored. Jake himself didn’t even look that happy. He had his arm around his new girlfriend and pulled out his phone. No calls. No texts. Jake frowned a little. Then he turned to the crowd. “Drinks are on me tonight. Everyone’s invited.” The classmates who’d been watching all cheered. I’d been standing behind some trees the whole time and finally stepped out. Someone with sharp eyes spotted me and yelled, “Mia! Mia’s here!” “Knew it. No way Mia would stay away.” Jake’s head snapped up. The second he saw me, the corner of his mouth twitched, almost like a smile. I ignored all the people hungry for drama. I walked straight up to Jake. “Mia.” Jake tightened his arm around his new girlfriend. He looked at me, his voice flat. “You can’t force this stuff.” “We’ve known each other over ten years. I don’t wanna say anything harsh, ruin what we had.” “From now on, you’re still like a sister to me.” “If you need anything, you can still come to me.” Then he lowered his voice. “With everyone watching, don’t cause a scene here. Just go home.” “Jake,” I cut him off, taking a slow step forward. He frowned again. “Mia, be reasonable.” I smiled and held out the bracelet I’d just slipped off my wrist. “I came to give this back.” Seeing the bracelet, Jake’s face darkened. “Mia, what game are you playing now?” “Take it. I won’t bother you after this.” Jake stared at me, his voice dropping. “I don’t care about the money.” “If you don’t want it, toss it.” As soon as the words were out, I turned and threw the bracelet into a nearby trash can. “You can throw out everything else I ever gave you, too.” With that, I walked away without looking back. By the time I reached the river, it was pouring. Standing there in the rain with an umbrella, I thought about the dreams I’d been having. In the dream, because Jake confessed to Chloe, I cried and made a scene. To force him to break up, I jumped into the river that night. And how did that end? I almost died. Jake stayed at the hospital for five minutes tops before leaving. The Foster family, who took me in, thought I was an embarrassment for trying to kill myself. And with Jake’s attitude, they decided I was useless. They made me drop out and sent me back to my birth parents, who were into every bad thing you can imagine. In the end, my life went downhill fast, and I died miserable, in a foreign country. After I died, the person who gathered what was left of me was the one I’d always been scared of, the one I kept my distance from. And Jake, happy newlywed, never showed. Lately, everything in the dreams had been coming true. If not for those dreams, I’d be blowing up Jake’s phone right now. Then I’d be threatening to jump. I’m grateful for that dream. It feels like a second chance. I can change the crappy fate that was waiting for me.
The third time I dialed the number, he finally picked up. I clutched the phone, holding it to my ear. The name sat on my tongue before I finally said it. “Liam.” The heavy rain drowned out the whole world. Only Liam’s voice, a little lazy, came through deep and low. “Mia?” “Liam, it’s pouring.” “I’m by the river. I can’t get back. Can you come get me?” Silence on the other end for a few seconds. I nervously gripped the umbrella handle, my palm sweaty. In the dream, when Liam was gathering my remains, I think he cried. Tears fell one by one on what was left. Even in the dream, I could feel that burn. Later, he carried a little bottle of my ashes with him his whole life. And he was alone his whole life. My eyes stung. I choked back a sob. “Why are you crying?” Liam’s voice came through suddenly. Still that indifferent tone, even a hint of annoyance. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t come.” “So… when?” “Wait. Twenty minutes.” “Okay. I’ll wait, Liam.” He didn’t say anything else, and the call died.
Fifteen minutes later, I gave my umbrella to a mom and kid hiding from the rain. So when Liam showed up, I was already soaked. Getting out of the car, his lips were a thin line, his face cold as ice. I pushed my wet bangs back and looked up at him with a bright smile. “Liam, you’re right on time.” “Mia, you’re gonna catch your death being this dumb.” He coldly grabbed my arm and shoved me into the passenger seat. Then he tossed a soft blanket at me. “Dry off. Don’t get my car wet.” He glanced at me in the rearview mirror, then smoothly turned the car around. “Oh.” I wrapped myself in the blanket. Then I couldn’t help sneaking glances at him while he drove. When his face was blank, he looked cold, unapproachable. Lots of girls at school liked him, but no one dared to make a move. He was Jake’s roommate. I used to go to Jake’s dorm a lot, and every time, Liam seemed to really not like me. Even now, though he came to get me, he was still ice. When he shoved me into the car just now, he used extra force. My wrist still hurt, a red mark circling it. Hard to tell he’d secretly liked me all along. I slowly lowered my gaze. Everything in the dream came true. But now, because I changed things, a lot changed too. Would Liam still like me? If he didn’t like me at all, wasn’t I just causing him trouble? “Back to the dorm?” Liam glanced at me suddenly. My heart jumped. “Yeah. Your dorm.” Liam’s grip on the wheel tightened. He let out a short laugh. “Jake won’t be back tonight.” “I know.” I twisted the edge of the blanket. “I’m not looking for him.” The car braked hard, pulling over. Liam turned to look at me, the ice in his eyes making me shiver. “Mia, don’t use me in whatever game you’re playing with Jake.” “I’m not—” He stared at me for a second, then pulled out his phone. “I’ll call you a cab. Go back yourself.” “Liam…” I bit my lip hard and snatched his phone. “Mia.” He looked at me. No anger, no disgust in his eyes. Just… deep. Like a whole storm was in there. I suddenly felt sad. “Liam, I don’t wanna go back to the dorm. They’re all laughing at me.” “I’m scared to go home, too.” “Can I… just stay at your dorm tonight?” I hid his phone behind my back, my voice getting smaller. “Of course, if you really hate me that much… forget it.” Right on cue, tears rolled down my cheeks. Quiet. Soundless. Liam didn’t say another word to me. But he started the car again. It headed toward campus, finally stopping at his dorm building. I followed Liam inside. He went to the closet, pulled out a clean hoodie, and handed it to me. “Bathroom’s there.” He’s tall, so the hoodie was huge on me. It went almost to my knees, like a dress. After my shower, I just had the hoodie on, bare legs. Liam glanced at me, then looked away fast. I walked past Jake’s bed and sat on Liam’s. My wet hair dripped, quickly soaking the sheets. The shampoo, the soap on me—it was all Liam’s smell. In the small room, the same scent was everywhere, a weird, quiet intimacy growing. Liam pulled out a pack of cigarettes, cleared his throat. “Gonna smoke.” He went to the balcony. I looked around Liam’s bed. Light gray sheets, neat. A computer and books on the desk, also tidy. I was about to check out his desk stuff when my phone rang. Jake flashed on the screen. I didn’t answer. He called again. And again. Like he wouldn’t stop. I just put it on silent and tossed it back in my bag. “Liam.” I called toward the balcony. He turned fast, put out his cigarette, and came over. “What?” Sitting on the bed, I had to look up at him. Liam’s eyes met mine for two seconds, then darted away. But I saw the backs of his ears were red. “I got your bed all wet. How are you gonna sleep tonight?” He glanced at me, then at the wet spot on the sheets. His Adam’s apple bobbed hard before he turned to the closet. “Dry your hair. I’ll change the sheets.” Then he went to get fresh sheets. Holding the towel, thinking of his red ears, I couldn’t help smiling. When I came out, hair dried, Liam had already changed the sheets. “Go to sleep.” “What about you?” He pulled out a chair, not even looking. “I’ll game.” “Oh.” I sat on his bed, kinda dejected. Liam put on his headset, was about to put it on, when his phone rang. He looked at the screen, then at me, before answering. “Jake. What’s up?” My heart squeezed. I held my breath. “Yeah, I’m in the dorm.” “Someone saw Mia at our building?” Liam looked at me again. “I—” In a panic, I didn’t let him finish. I got up, walked over, and climbed into his lap, my arms around his neck. When Liam moved to push me away, I pressed my mouth to his ear. “Liam, tell him I’m not here.” Under my arms, Liam’s skin got hot, fast. I saw a vein in his neck pulse. His Adam’s apple moved, his heart beating wild. I looked up at him. He looked down at me. In his eyes, something dark and wanting spread. “No. Been here the whole time.” “She didn’t come. Yeah, ask someone else.” Liam hung up as soon as the words were out. He tossed the phone aside, his long fingers gripping my waist through the hoodie. Holding me tight, pressing me into him. I felt it. The heat. The want. My ears buzzed. My first thought was to run. But Liam held me tighter. “Mia.” His voice was rough. His hot breath was on my ear, my neck. I shivered, tried to move, but his kiss landed right on my lips. “Don’t tempt me… I don’t wanna touch you here.” “Liam…” I squirmed, trying to adjust how I was sitting. The heat between us felt dangerous. When I could breathe, I finally got the words out. “If you don’t wanna touch me, why are you kissing me?” Liam lowered his head, his forehead against mine. In the mess of our breathing, he closed his eyes, like he was trying to calm down. “Also, do you even know how to kiss? My lips are swollen.” “Mia.” Liam didn’t open his eyes. But his hands on my waist loosened a little. His fingers were long, strong. Holding me through the hoodie, it hurt and felt good. “Liam…” I frowned, tried to push his hands away. But Liam caught my fingers. “Mia, don’t move.” “I’ll be gentler.” As he finished, his hands slid to my lower back. He pulled me closer, tight against him. This kiss was long. And soft. By the end, he lost control, kissing me deep. “Liam…” I pushed lightly at his chest, bit his lip between breaths. “Mia.” Liam’s voice was wrecked. His whole body went tight. The heat from his hands was almost burning me. Liam buried his face in my neck with a low groan. The tension broke, then faded. But soon, it was building again. Still, Liam gently pushed me away, stood me up. I just thought his expression was strange. And there was a new smell in the air. I couldn’t help asking, “Liam, what just happened?” His ears were blood-red. The guy who was always so cold now had eyes full of raw want. “I need a shower.” He stood, his eyes down as he fixed the hem of my messy hoodie. “Sleep.” Before I could say anything, Liam was in the bathroom. When the water started, I lay on Liam’s bed and curled up. Then I pressed the back of my hand to my burning face. I think I kinda guessed what happened. But Liam’s tall, works out, all lean muscle. Sharp jaw, strong hands. However you look at him, he doesn’t seem like the type who’d… finish that fast. Maybe he’d never had a girlfriend before? Never been that close to a girl? Thinking that, my heart felt fizzy. I lay on Liam’s pillow and felt something under it. A pearl earring. It looked familiar. It was one of a pair I wore all the time. Once, at Jake’s dorm, I lost one and never found it. So Liam had it. I remembered. In those dreams, Liam always kept this earring. After a minute, I put it back under his pillow. The hair dryer stopped. When Liam came out, he wore navy blue pajamas. Steam made his skin look pale. With his hair neat, that sharp coldness was softer. Somehow, Liam looked… cute. I was about to call to him when I heard voices outside the door. My face fell. I froze. One of the voices was definitely Jake’s. Liam’s face darkened, but he was faster than me. By the time Jake pushed the door open, Liam had stuffed my clothes in the closet. My shoes were under the bed, way back. And Liam was just pulling back the blanket to get in. Only a night light was on, dim. I was hidden under Liam’s blanket. Just a small bump. Even if Jake came close, he wouldn’t notice unless he looked hard. “Why’s it so dark in here?” Jake asked. “Got caught in the rain. Head hurts.” As Liam spoke, he gently held my restless wrist under the blanket. The bed was only a twin. Liam was tall, took up space. I was pressed against him. My breath brushed his stomach. I felt his muscles, tense. “Okay.” Jake didn’t turn on the light. He sat in a chair, pulled out his phone, made calls. After a few calls with no answer, Jake was annoyed. “Liam, you think Mia’s doing this on purpose?” “What?” “I just got with Chloe today, and she’s already pulling this.” “The news just said some girl jumped in the river over boy trouble.” “Thought she did something stupid, ran over, left Chloe behind.” “But it wasn’t her they pulled out.” “Been calling her all night. Nothing. Now she’s vanished.” Jake slammed his phone on the desk. “She’s doing it on purpose. Ruining my night.” He let out a cold laugh. “Bet she’s gonna cling to me forever.” “Maybe not.” Liam’s voice cut in. Jake sounded surprised. “Maybe not?” “Liam, you’ve seen it. How she’s been glued to me two years.” “You were annoyed by her too. Never gave her the time of day.” Hearing that, I bit Liam’s side. He flinched, his hand moving to block me, but his fingers just brushed my lips. I bit his finger, lightly. Liam’s whole body tensed. A low hiss escaped. “You okay?” “Leg cramp.” Liam’s voice was rough. He coughed. “Alright, rest up. I won’t bother you.” Jake stood. “Just need the bathroom, then I’m out.” When he pushed the bathroom door open, I remembered. Earlier, I’d washed my socks. Hung them in there. Sure enough, less than two minutes later, Jake came out with a grin. “Liam, you got a girl in here?” “Keeping secrets. Which girl finally got our ice prince?” “Shut up.” Jake took a step toward the bed. “In bed already? Hiding someone?” “Jake.” Liam’s voice went cold. “Okay, okay, I won’t look.” Jake stopped. But he looked at the bed, interested. “You got protection? I got extra.” Liam’s hand on the back of my neck under the blanket held me still against him. He looked at Jake, his voice flat. “Don’t talk about girls like that.” “You serious?” Jake sounded surprised. Liam’s lips pressed tight, his throat working. “Yeah.” If the light were brighter, Jake would’ve seen the pain on Liam’s face. He was holding my neck so I wouldn’t move. But the rest of me could move. No one could see under the blanket. So I got to know Liam’s abs. Every time I touched, his muscles got tighter. I moved my hand lower, to the V of his hips. Liam’s reaction was… big. It scared me. “Alright, I won’t crash your night. I’m out.” Jake turned and left. The door closed. I threw off the blanket. “Liam, I was suffocating…” Liam leaned against the headboard, looking at me. The dim light fell on his sharp features. Making shadows. I just stared. They say you look best in lamp light. Guys too. A handsome guy in shifting light and shadow… it does things. “Mia.” Liam sat up slowly. He reached out, brushed the hair from my face. Then, cupping my face, he said, serious, “I wasn’t annoyed by you.” “And I didn’t give you the cold shoulder.” “Don’t listen to him.” After, he let go. He got up, got his cigarettes. “Sleep.” “What about you?” He pointed to the balcony. “Gonna smoke. Sleep.” Right then, I sneezed. Liam stopped. I grabbed his pajama sleeve, making a face. “I think I’m getting sick. My head hurts.” Liam looked at me. “Let go. I’ll get you meds.” After the meds, I still held on. “Liam, I’m cold. The blanket’s thin.” But this time, Liam pushed my hand away. “Mia, Jake’s been gone. You can stop now.” “What’s he got to do with this?” Liam laughed, kinda bitter. “Why were you at the river tonight?” I got it. The news about a girl jumping. He thought that was me. He thought I went to the river because I was hurting, wanted to end it. Calling him, coming here—all to get back at Jake. Honestly, I get why he’d think that. For two years, the Fosters pushed me hard. After they found their real daughter, they wanted to send me back. Then they figured I still had some arranged-marriage value, so they kept me. So Jake was my lifeline. I thought, since we grew up together, there’d be something there. He’d save me. I put all my hope in Jake. But to everyone else, it just looked like I was obsessed. Especially to Liam. He was Jake’s roommate. How much of my “chasing” did he see? “Liam…” I wanted to explain. But he was already up. “Set an alarm. Leave early. Don’t let anyone see you.” “This kinda thing… not good for you.” “Liam.” He didn’t stop, didn’t look back. I bit my lip hard. “You kissed me tonight. A lot.” “And you… did that.” “You’re not gonna take responsibility?” Liam stopped dead. He turned to look at me. I sat on the bed, eyes red, holding back tears. “I know you hate me.” “Every time I came before, you ignored me.” “But thanks. For tonight. For picking me up. Letting me stay.” “If you really want nothing to do with me, I’ll go now.” I got off the bed. Didn’t bother with shoes. Walked to the door barefoot. Passing Liam, head down, I was already crying, silent. “Mia.” Liam grabbed me. “I said, I don’t hate you—” “Then will you take responsibility?” I shook off his hand, looked up at him, defiant. “You kissed me. Held me.” “And you did that.” Liam suddenly gripped my chin and kissed me, hard. “Mia.” He sucked my lip, his breathing heavy. “If you’re gonna start this, see it through.” I hugged his lean waist, stood on my toes to kiss him back. “Okay…”
During the fall break, I went to the city where my birth parents lived. I stayed three days. When I left, those two—into every vice— were already taken by the police, facing the law. Trafficking. Gambling. Illegal stuff. Thanks to the dreams, I had proof for all of it. I didn’t need a next life. This time, I got rid of them for good. On the plane, I let out a long breath. The biggest weight was gone. I felt light. Free. When the plane landed, I texted Liam I was safe. He didn’t know why I really went. He thought it was a girls’ trip. “I’ll come over tonight. Everything ready at your place?” Liam had moved off-campus. He was a senior now, barely on campus. Plus, living with Jake was… complicated. “Ready. Want me to pick you up?” “Sure.” “Mia.” “Yeah?” “It’s Jake’s birthday. He’s having a party. Asked me to come… with my girlfriend.” I’d forgotten Jake’s birthday was during the break. “Mia. You wanna go with me?” I didn’t answer. My stomach twisted. It wasn’t that I didn’t want us out in the open. But the Fosters would cut me off soon. Then everyone would know about my… background. I knew Liam wouldn’t care. But I couldn’t stand him being talked about. Like in the dream. They said he was disloyal. For a girl like me. Breaking his family’s heart. But, like Liam said that day. I started it. I should finish it. Can’t have it both ways, right? “Liam.” I took a deep breath. “Do you want me to go?” “Yes.” No hesitation. “Then pick me up. I’ll go with you.” I held my phone, saw my reflection in the glass. When I said it, I was smiling. A real smile. “Mia, look outside.” My heart skipped. I turned. It was like a movie scene in slow-mo. My smile still on my face, the airport noise fading. In the crowd, I saw Liam. Just Liam. I dropped my bag and ran. Liam stood still, but he opened his arms. I crashed into him, and he caught me, solid. Didn’t even step back. I hooked my arms around his neck, looked up smiling. “Babe… you’re solid.” He looked down at me, a low laugh. “My core’s not bad either. Wanna try?” I poked his rock-hard abs, whispered in his ear, “Just… a little quick, you know.” “Mia…” He sounded helpless, but his eyes were fierce, competitive. “Just you wait.” “Don’t beg. Crying won’t help.” For the party, Jake invited everyone, as usual. Chloe had dressed up.
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