My husband Liam was a Special Forces captain. My best friend was a military doctor. They didn’t get along at first. I was the one who brought them together. Five months into my pregnancy, I found a heavy metal box at home. Inside, I found a stack of wills he’d written before every dangerous mission. As I opened them, a chilling dread washed over me. Seven hundred and thirty-two letters in total. Every single one started with, “My Dearest Chloe.” And every single one ended with, “I love you, Chloe.” Chloe. Not some stranger, but my best friend. I knelt amidst the scattered pages, my fingertips trembling so violently I couldn’t even grip a single sheet. Tears streamed down my face, blurring the words on the paper. “Chloe, make sure you have an extra slice of that apple pie from the west side tonight. You know the one you love.” “Chloe, I’m sorry to make you sad again.” “Chloe, after I die, please scatter my ashes under the old oak tree, so I can always watch over you.” The old oak tree. Our old oak tree. The devastating news of my parents’ deaths arrived when I was eight. I curled up in a corner of our home, crying until no sound came out. Liam and Chloe, one on each side, stubbornly held my hands and led me away from the house. We ran to the old oak tree on the back hill, the one that had stood there for who knows how many years. Tears still stained Chloe’s face, but she raised three fingers, pointing at the trunk, her voice choked but incredibly clear. “I swear, from now on, I’ll protect Alice for her mom and dad for the rest of my life! No one is allowed to bully her!” Liam immediately mimicked her, his face serious, his voice even louder. “Me too! I’ll protect Alice for the rest of my life! Even longer than you!” And they did. My world felt safe and bright because they were in it. My baby, sensing my turmoil, kicked uneasily within me. I instinctively clutched my belly, but my fingertips brushed against the scattered letters on the floor. My vision blurred again. I futilely tried to shove the letters back into the box. But my hands wouldn’t obey, just clawing at them aimlessly. Each letter felt like a burning ember, scalding my insides, making my stomach churn with agony. I don’t know how much time passed, but eventually, I leaned back against the wall, utterly drained, soaked in cold sweat. Footsteps drew closer from outside, accompanied by their familiar bickering. Chloe’s voice, bright and clear, carried her usual disdain for Liam. “Liam, slow down! You’re always so rushed. You nearly dropped the apple pie! Buying two wasn’t enough, you had to clear out the whole store?” Liam’s voice was deep, laced with his usual impatience. “What do you know? Alice’s cravings are unpredictable these days. What’s wrong with buying extra? What if she suddenly wants some?” The door opened. Chloe peeked her head in first. Seeing me on the floor, she rushed over, reaching out to help me up. “Why are you sitting on the floor? Pregnant women shouldn’t be sitting on the cold floor. Come on, up you go!” Liam also hurried over, feeling my forehead with one hand while steadying me with the other. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?” I let them both help me up. Chloe was the first to notice my puffy, red eyes. She pressed urgently. “Why are your eyes so swollen? Did Liam upset you? Tell me. I’ll make him pay!” Liam shot her an irritated look. “Chloe, don’t be ridiculous. I adore my wife. I’d never hurt her!” He turned back to me, his hands cradling my face gently, eyes full of concern. “Honey, what is it?” “Who upset you?” “Or is it your stomach? I’ll take you to the hospital now.”
The concern in their eyes wasn’t fake in the slightest. Chloe’s eyes were even red-rimmed. But when Liam’s hand brushed my cheek, and he asked me so tenderly, I clearly saw a fleeting flicker of heartbreak and forced composure in Chloe’s eyes. I never noticed it before. Now, it was so glaringly obvious. The cold words from the letters crashed into my mind again. “Chloe, I’m going to propose to Alice tomorrow.” “I know this is selfish, and unfair to you. But Alice… she needs me more. She’s too lonely.” “And you, Chloe, you will always be the one I love most, my best comrade, the one I can trust with my life.” “If there’s a next life, I promise I’ll marry you.” At the end of the letter, there was a dark, irregular stain. Like the mark of dried tears. That must have been tears. I once believed marrying Liam was the greatest fortune of my life. I thought his kindness was genuine, born of love for me. I never imagined it was all just a cruel act of pity. How benevolent, yet how utterly ruthless. A strong, metallic tang rose in my throat, which I frantically swallowed down. I doubled over, dry-heaving violently. But nothing came up, only cold, sour bile burning my esophagus. My baby seemed startled, kicking even harder. A tearing, dull pain erupted from my lower abdomen, swiftly engulfing my entire body. “Alice!” “Honey!” Chaos. A blur of motion. Liam’s arms, holding me, were rigid as iron. Chloe’s sobbing voice drifted in and out. A warm dampness spread beneath me. The cold hallway of the military hospital, stark white lights flashing across my vision. I don’t know how long passed before the doctor removed his gloves. “I’m sorry, the fetal heartbeat has stopped. Sudden, severe intrauterine distress, leading to violent contractions… we couldn’t save the baby.” The baby. Couldn’t save. Those three words, so light and airy, yet they sucked the last shred of strength and warmth from my body. Chloe’s and Liam’s voices, broken with grief, echoed in my ears. “Honey, it’s okay… we’ll have a second, a third baby later.” “Yes, Alice, don’t be scared. Once you’ve recovered, you’ll have another one.” They sounded so pained, so genuine. I just lay there, my eyes open, my mind replaying not the words on the letters, but much older memories.
Back in high school, when I innocently started to realize my feelings for Liam had grown beyond friendship, I told Chloe everything, without reservation. Chloe froze for a second, then her face contorted with pure disdain. “Alice, why would you ever like him?” “He’s completely beneath you.” After that, Chloe couldn’t stand Liam even more, and they practically fell into a silent standoff. The day Liam and I officially became a couple, Chloe got into a fight with him. Her eyes were red from crying, but she refused to say anything. Later, Liam went to military academy, and Chloe went to medical school. They both joined the military, and Chloe became the squad’s medic. Because my body couldn’t adapt to the rigorous military environment. Chloe held my hand and said, “Alice, don’t worry, I’ll keep a close eye on Liam for you.” Then, when Liam proposed to me, Chloe cried uncontrollably at our wedding. She grabbed Liam’s collar, her voice choked but fierce. “Liam, if you ever dare to treat Alice badly, I’ll come after you first.” Liam, uncharacteristically, didn’t talk back. He just looked at her trembling lips, his eyes red, and whispered, “Okay.” From then on, Liam’s attitude towards her subtly shifted. When Chloe snapped at him, most of the time he just listened. Sometimes he would even indulge her whims, saying, “You’re always right.” The day I found out I was pregnant, Chloe cried again. That night, she drank a lot of wine, crying as she drank. She said, “Alice, I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be a mom…” “I probably won’t ever get married in this life. From now on, your child will be my child.” “Alice… I really envy you…” She was incoherent, but I just thought she was drunk. Later, Liam walked her home. He was gone for a long time. When he returned, his eyes were red-rimmed, and his lip was busted. He said it was too dark downstairs, and he accidentally ran into a wall. And Chloe was never one to cry easily. But it seemed that whenever it involved Liam and me, her tears flowed effortlessly. Once I asked her, “Chloe, all these years, have you really never liked anyone?” She suddenly looked up, quickly glanced at Liam, and smiled. “Yes, I have. I recently started liking a younger guy. I’ll bring him to meet you sometime.” As soon as Chloe said that, the glass in Liam’s hand clattered to the floor. And that younger guy? I never saw him again. So, everything, everything had been there all along. I just never saw, or didn’t want to see. Now, they knelt by my bedside, heartbroken beyond words. I looked at their two faces, drenched in tears, etched with pain. And suddenly, even breathing felt cold. Finally, I simply closed my eyes and said, “I’m tired.”
Late that night, Liam and Chloe left the room. I opened my eyes, got out of bed, and followed them. At the end of the hallway, Liam pulled Chloe into a comforting embrace, soothing her softly. “It’s okay, don’t be so sad.” His hand stroked her back with a practiced tenderness, full of raw concern. Chloe’s face was buried in his shoulder, her shoulders shaking subtly. “But… the baby…” Her voice was fragmented. “Alice… she loved that baby so much…” “If I hadn’t insisted you come with me to the west side to watch the sunrise today, to watch that movie, to buy those warm donuts from that artisanal bakery…” “It’s not your fault, this was an accident. No one wanted this.” Liam cut her off, pressing his chin into her hair. That intimate gesture made my stomach churn once more. Earlier that morning, Liam had said he had a small mission and Chloe needed to go with him. His tone was normal; he even tucked me in carefully, telling me to rest more. I’d seen the bloodshot veins in his eyes and just thought he was tired, worrying about his safety. How could I have doubted them? They were my husband and my most trusted best friend. My unwavering trust, how utterly laughable it seemed now. Chloe looked up, tear tracks glistening in the dim light. “Liam, I suddenly feel so guilty towards Alice. She’s your wife.” Liam looked at her, his eyes brimming with emotions so thick they almost spilled over. It was pain, tenderness, and torment-all tangled into a gaze reserved for one person, a gaze that had never, not once, settled on me with such profound intensity. “Chloe, don’t think like that,” his voice was hoarse. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” “As for Alice… I’ll take care of her.” A deeper pain and self-reproach flickered in Chloe’s eyes. She opened her mouth, then buried her face in his embrace once more. And I stood there, in the shadows. Watching my husband and my best friend. Comforting each other in their shared grief, on the very night I lost my child. It turned out the deepest pain wasn’t their deception. It was the unspoken, bone-deep connection and anguish between them. That shared, secret world that completely shut me out. I didn’t disturb them. I just slowly, step by step, retreated back to my hospital room. The next day, Chloe’s eyes were still swollen, but she’d already put on an expression of disdain. She picked apart Liam’s porridge for being too hot, and the side dishes for being too salty. Liam frowned, refuting her occasionally. But neither of them mentioned the baby. If it had been before, seeing them like this, I would have felt relieved, felt happy. But now, I leaned against the headboard, watching them in silence. Every deliberately averted gaze. Every unnatural pause. Every raised voice, meant to cover their guilt-ridden arguments. They were like countless tiny needles, piercing my heart. I grew silent. All day, I either stared blankly out the window or closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. Talking required strength. Dealing with them required energy. And all my strength and energy had drained away with the tiny life I would never meet.
On my birthday, they tried to cheer me up. They took me to that old restaurant, my favorite childhood spot. They ordered a table full of my favorite dishes. Liam sat beside me, blowing on a spoonful of soup to cool it for me, his actions still meticulously gentle. Chloe took two sips, then her face suddenly paled. She clapped a hand over her mouth, shot up, and rushed out. Liam practically sprang to his feet on instinct. A clear, undeniable panic flashed across his face. His steps were already directed towards the door, but then he stopped halfway. As if remembering something, he turned to look at me. “Alice,” his voice was a little dry, “I’ll go check on Chloe. You eat first.” In the past, I would have rushed to check on Chloe myself. But this time, I didn’t even look up, just gave a faint nod. My gaze settled on the bowl of chicken soup Chloe had been drinking. He immediately turned and walked out quickly. I sat quietly for a moment, then got up and followed him out. From the old restaurant’s back garden, I heard Chloe’s trembling voice. “Liam, I… I think… I’m pregnant…” “What do I do…” “How can I be pregnant with your child? You’re Alice’s husband, and I’m Alice’s best friend…” Liam reached out, gripping Chloe’s arm tightly, his voice low and strained. “Chloe, look at me. None of this is your fault.” “It’s all my fault.” “If I hadn’t been afraid of hurting Alice, if I hadn’t accepted her confession back then, none of this would have happened.” “Chloe, not being able to marry you is already the biggest regret of my life. Now you’re carrying my child…” “Let’s keep the baby.” “But… Alice just lost her baby…” Chloe’s voice broke into a desperate sob. “How can I…” “No, I can’t keep this baby!” Her voice suddenly became frantic and despairing. “Liam, I’ve thought a lot these past few days.” “You and Alice are married. There’s no possibility for you and me anymore.” “You’re right, Alice needs you more than I do… I’m going to apply for a transfer with my superiors.” “From now on… let’s not see each other again.” “Please, be good to Alice.” “No, Chloe,” Liam’s voice held an undeniable pain and resolve. “I can’t lose you again, and I certainly can’t lose our child.” Watching their entangled figures. Listening to this agonizing conversation. How absurd. I suddenly felt like I was the villain, the shadow who had stolen someone else’s happiness. My heart felt like it was clenched by an icy hand, then suddenly released. Leaving only a numb void. All the pain seemed to peak at that moment, then strangely subsided into a dead calm. I stepped out from behind the pillar. My footsteps startled them. They quickly pulled apart. I didn’t look at Chloe, just walked step by step towards them.
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