After developing anorexia, my weight plummeted from 120 pounds to a terrifying 70 pounds. Mom and Dad poured everything into my treatment, bringing home boxes of outrageously expensive supplements and tonics. Before long, our savings ran dry, and daily life became a constant struggle. Daisy’s clothes grew faded and threadbare, and our meals were reduced to oatmeal and cheap fast-food burgers. If she even dared take a sip of my leftover supplement, Mom and Dad would snap at her, scolding her relentlessly until she cowered, tears streaming down her face. Later, on the day Daisy got her Ivy League acceptance letter, our family brought out my supplements to share with her—for the first time ever. But by then, I couldn’t even swallow water. “Mom, Dad, I really can’t eat…” “You have to eat, even if you can’t!”Dad suddenly exploded, grabbing the warm liquid supplement roughly and forcing it into my mouth. “Do you realize how much we’ve all sacrificed for you? Daisy hasn’t had a decent meal since she was a little girl!” Mom’s eyes were red, her voice shaking. “Is it really that hard to just eat something? What do we have to do to get a moment’s peace?” As I gagged, their expressions filled with frustration. Watching their angry retreating backs, I slowly lifted my gaze, a strange sense of relief washing over me. Mom, Dad, Daisy… For so many years, I’ve been a burden to you, and I’ve suffered too. It’s time to put an end to all this.
The living room floor was a mess as Mom and Dad pulled Daisy toward the door. Their voices tight with frustration and disappointment: “Come on, Daisy, we’re taking you out to celebrate. Today’s your big day—don’t let this ruin it.” Mom gave me a look of profound disappointment and let out a heavy sigh. “You really need to get your act together.” Daisy hesitated, her steps faltering as she turned back to look at me, uncertainty clouding her eyes. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but Dad tugged her away. “Let’s go. There’s no point talking to someone like her.” The front door slammed shut, muffling the sounds from outside. Sticky liquid supplement spilled everywhere, while Daisy’s bright red acceptance letter lay abandoned on the table. I knelt slowly, my fingertips brushing over the cold, shattered ceramic pieces. The sharp edge sliced my skin, drawing blood beads, but I felt nothing. Memories from the past two years came flooding back. After I got sick with anorexia, Mom and Dad poured everything they had into my treatment. To pay my medical bills, they worked construction jobs during the day and ran a street vendor stall at night, working nonstop until their backs ached too much to stand straight. They emptied our savings to buy those ridiculously expensive supplement boxes, gritting their teeth through every sacrifice. They worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients, so they even stopped buying fruit for themselves. They’d come home covered in dust, exhausted to the bone, yet still force a smile and ask if there was anything I felt like eating. Daisy was the one who stayed by my side most days. With Mom and Dad leaving for work early, she became my lifeline. Knowing how I struggled with food, she’d experiment with gentle, easy-to-swallow soups, spoon-feeding me one tiny bite at a time. She was always so patient, coaxing me softly: “Lily, just one bite, okay? You need your strength.” When I really couldn’t swallow, her eyes would fill with heartache, but she never pushed too hard. After taking care of me, she’d sit at her desk late into the night, studying with her lamp burning until the early morning hours. She carried the burden of looking after me while pouring all her energy into her studies. Now she’d finally gotten into a top university. It should’ve been our family’s proudest moment, but I’d ruined everything. I remembered Mom and Dad’s quiet sighs in the living room early yesterday morning. “Daisy’s heading to college soon. Tuition and living costs aren’t cheap. And Lily’s supplements are so expensive—she can’t go a day without them. How are we going to manage the money?” “What else can we do? I’ll just take another job. Every little bit helps. We can’t let our girls suffer.” Those words hit me like a sledgehammer, crashing down on my heart. The wrinkles around Mom and Dad’s eyes, their graying hair, their calloused hands. Daisy’s dark circles, her patched clothes, her worn-out shoes… All their misfortunes, all their hardships—they were all my fault. I didn’t want to be sick. I didn’t want to be a burden. But I couldn’t help it. I leaned against the wall, slowly standing up. My 70-pound body felt as light as a feather, swaying with the slightest movement. I cleaned up the mess in the living room, smoothed out Daisy’s acceptance letter until it looked perfect, and placed it neatly on the table. I turned and walked into my room, locking the door behind me. From the bottom of my drawer, I pulled out a utility knife—the one I used back when I used to draw. Before I got sick, Daisy used to beg me to teach her how to draw. Those were such happy times. But later, I couldn’t even hold a paintbrush anymore. All that warmth and hope had long since been worn away by two years of illness and hardship. Lying on the bed, I took a deep breath. When the blade broke my skin, the first sensation wasn’t pain, but an icy coldness. Blood slowly seeped from the wound, dripping onto the sheets. I didn’t flinch. Instead, I gently rotated my wrist. Letting the blade go a little deeper, as if that could truly cut all the ties. Pain washed over me, but inside, I felt a strange sense of relief. As my consciousness blurred, I saw Mom and Dad’s faces, and Daisy’s eyes when she used to feed me. I wanted to tell them I was sorry. I wanted to ruffle Daisy’s hair and tell her to eat well and study hard from now on. But I couldn’t say anything. I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t cherish you, but I can’t be a burden anymore. Blood kept flowing, my body grew colder by the minute, and the last bit of my consciousness was swallowed by darkness. I said a final goodbye to this family I loved so deeply but could no longer help.
The darkness faded completely, and I felt myself being lifted by the wind. When I opened my eyes, I realized I was a wisp of a soul floating in a restaurant. I immediately spotted Mom,Dad, and Daisy at a table not far away. On the table were their favorite comfort foods: steak, mashed potatoes, and pasta—all the things Daisy used to love but hadn’t had since I got sick. But there was no joy of celebration on their faces. The atmosphere was heavy, a stark contrast to the lively chatter around them. Daisy kept her head down, mindlessly pushing food around in her bowl, her eyes darting frequently toward the restaurant entrance. I floated beside them, instinctively reaching out to touch Daisy’s head. But my hand passed right through the air. Mom picked up her fork, placed a piece of steak in Daisy’s bowl, her eyes full of heartache. “Daisy, eat up. These past two years,Dad and I haven’t done right by you.” Daisy pushed the meat to the side of her bowl, her voice muffled: “Mom,Dad, let’s just go home. I’m worried about Lily.” Mark rubbed his sore shoulder, his voice heavy with exhaustion and frustration: “What good does worrying do? We work from dawn till dusk, just wanted to celebrate with you properly for once.” “But she throws a fit. This family’s been dragged down like this—when will we ever catch a break?” He spoke, then pressed a hand to his throbbing temples. The red veins in his eyes were clearly visible. Mom’s eyes were red too, her voice tight: “Don’t pay her any mind. Today’s your day, Daisy. You’ve worked so hard these past few years. Once Lily gets better, everything will be okay.” Even as she said it, Mom’s eyes held an unshakable despair. They all knew in their hearts I was a bottomless pit. Two years of pouring in all their savings, and not even a glimmer of improvement. My condition showed no signs of improving—my muscles were starting to atrophy, and I’d vomit at the sight of food. Our house couldn’t have any meat or strong flavors; it was plain rice and cheap frozen dinners every day. None of them knew when this kind of life would end. I floated in the air, seeing the exhaustion on all three of their faces, my heart aching to the point of suffocation. It was a pain a thousand times worse than cutting my wrist. It’s okay, Mom,Dad. I’ve already made the choice for you, given you the answer. Those painful days won’t go on forever. Daisy bit her lower lip, silent for a long time, finally looking up hesitantly: “Mom,Dad, what if… I just don’t go to college? Lily’s treatment is important, and tuition is so expensive. I don’t want to add any more burden to the family.” Those words hit everyone like a sledgehammer. I floated in the air, frantic, wanting to scream “No!” But my voice couldn’t reach their ears. No one knew better than me the weight of that acceptance letter. Countless nights studying until dawn, eating plain sandwiches and instant noodles, wearing faded school uniforms—all to earn her future. How could she give up so easily? Tears immediately filled Mom’s eyes. She pulled Daisy into a hug, her voice catching. “Don’t be ridiculous, Daisy! You worked so hard for this—how can you just throw it away?” Mark also clenched his fists, his eyes full of heartache and guilt. “Don’t worry, Daisy. Mom and I will handle Lily’s medical bills and your tuition. You don’t need to stress about this. Just focus on your studies.” Their promises didn’t lighten the mood; if anything, the atmosphere grew heavier. Mark quietly lowered his head, opened his phone contacts, and messaged construction site bosses one by one, his tone humble and desperate. “Boss, any work available lately? Anything at all—I can do it.” I could clearly see the exhaustion and helplessness in his eyes. For us, his daughters, he’d long since swallowed all his pride. Mom picked up her phone too, secretly scrolling through job listings. On the screen was a janitorial job posting: “4 AM to 7 AM, daily pay.” She scrolled quickly, her fingertips trembling slightly, but she didn’t dare let Daisy notice. Overwhelming sorrow washed over me. Because of me, this family had already been through so much. At least now, maybe my choice could finally help this family. Daisy couldn’t take it anymore. She lifted her head from Mom’s hug, sniffling: “I need to go back and check on Lily, just to make sure she’s okay.” Mom and Dad fell silent, eventually just sighing heavily and nodding. Mom grabbed a takeout container, quietly packing up the leftover food, murmuring: “I’ll take some for Lily too, just in case she feels like eating.”
Pushing open the front door, they found the once messy living room spotlessly clean. Seeing the tidy living room, Mom’s expression softened. She gently knocked on my bedroom door: “Lily, did you clean up the room?” When there was still no response from inside, she spoke again, her voice full of remorse: “I was in a bad mood earlier, got too worked up. That was my fault. Will you open the door? We won’t make you eat anything, we just want to see you.” Daisy joined her at the door, speaking softly: “Lily?” But still, no one answered. Mark stepped forward and patted Mom’s shoulder, sighing: “It’s okay, let her have space. She’s upset right now—anything we say won’t help.” He looked at the closed bedroom door, disappointment lingering in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. Regret hit me suddenly. I shouldn’t have died at home, not like this. They’d already been burdened by me for two years. Now my death would leave them with a lifetime of trauma in such a cruel way. I frantically floated into the room, staring at the cold body on the bed. I wished I could rush over, pick up my body, and carry it far away so they’d never find it. But my hand passed through again and again—I was completely helpless. I could only pray desperately in my heart: Don’t check on me, don’t find me, please? I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Daisy knocked on the door repeatedly, but still got no response from me. Her nose stung, thinking I was angry with her. She ran into the living room, carefully taking a nutritional drink from her backpack—she’d bought it with half a year’s scholarship money. She hurried back to the bedroom door, her voice full of hurt and pleading: “Lily, are you mad at me? Please don’t be mad, okay?” “I bought this special nutritional drink for you. The store clerk said it’s really easy to drink and absorb. Please open the door? Just one sip, and I’ll stay with you.” She stared stubbornly at the bedroom door, but inside there was still only silence. I floated beside her, watching her teary eyes, my heart aching with urgency and sorrow—but there was nothing I could do. Mom and Dad watched the scene, their faces a mix of heartache and helplessness. Mom walked over and gently pulled Daisy’s arm: “Daisy, stop knocking. Lily probably just needs some quiet. Why don’t you go back to your room and get some sleep?” “You’ve had a long day too. Get some rest. Tomorrow, when Lily’s feeling better, things will be okay.” But Daisy shook her head fiercely, refusing to move. “I’ll wait for Lily. She hasn’t eaten anything today. What if she gets hungry? I’ll wait until she opens the door and has just one sip before I sleep.” Mom and Dad saw how determined she was and finally stopped trying to persuade her. They still had to get up early for work tomorrow and couldn’t stay up all night. They exchanged a look, sighed softly, and went back to their room to rest. The living room lights dimmed, leaving only a faint glow by the doorway illuminating Daisy’s thin figure.
At the crack of dawn, Mom and Dad, looking exhausted, got up early to head to the construction site. But as soon as they stepped out of their bedroom, they saw Daisy still leaning against my door, curled up asleep. Mom’s heart twisted. She hurried over and knelt down. She reached out and felt Daisy’s forehead—the burning heat made her eyes instantly water. She stood up suddenly, pounding angrily on the bedroom door, her voice furious: “Lily! Open this door! Daisy stayed up all night for you and now she has a fever! How can you be so heartless—you won’t even open the door?” “Look at her! What have you done to her?” Daisy was jolted awake by the pounding. She groggily pulled Mom’s hand, her voice hoarse and weak. “Mom, I’m fine… don’t yell at Lily…” She tried to push herself up, but her body felt weak and she collapsed back down. In that moment, the guilt Mom and Dad had bottled up for so long came rushing to the surface. For two years, they’d poured all their energy into my illness and neglected Daisy. Daisy had always sacrificed for me, given everything for me, carried the family’s burdens alongside us. Looking at Daisy’s flushed face, then at the tightly shut bedroom door,Dad’s exhaustion and pent-up frustration erupted. He suddenly raised his foot, kicking the bedroom door frantically, howling in despair: “What do you want from us? How far do you have to push us until you’re satisfied? Do you want to drive us all to the edge?” “What did we ever do to you? What did Daisy ever do to deserve this?” His shouts echoed through the house, but behind the door there was still only silence. I floated nearby, regret and despair nearly consuming me. I wanted to say “I’m sorry,” but the words couldn’t reach their ears. Then Daisy suddenly frowned, sniffed sharply, and her face went pale. “Mom,Dad—I think I smell blood…” Those words hit Mom and Dad like a thunderbolt to the chest. The silence in the house instantly filled them with a terrible premonition that chilled them to the bone. It was something they’d never even let themselves imagine. Mark reacted first, staggering into the study and yanking a spare key from the back of a drawer. This can’t be happening. She has to be okay… All three of them prayed silently. Mark’s knuckles whitened as he clutched the key, his hand shaking violently. The key slid into the lock with a soft click, and everyone’s heart jumped into their throats. When they pushed open the bedroom door, all three froze instantly. The air seemed to stand still. The next second, the expensive nutritional drink shattered on the floor.
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