Freeze Me, Warm Her

Just because I refused to give my only hand warmer to my husband’s first love’s child. My husband threw me out of the car right after my surgery. On a highway in minus twenty degrees, I froze until my body went rigid and my wounds tore open. But my husband’s first love sat in the passenger seat, enjoying the heater and posting on social media. The photo showed her child playing with my life-saving medication, with the caption: “His godfather still loves him the most.” I desperately pounded on the car window begging for help, but my husband locked the doors and sneered at me through the glass. “Didn’t you say adults need to learn patience?” “Then stay out here and reflect. When you learn not to argue with children, then you can get back in.” Just as I was losing consciousness, a convoy of luxury cars pulled up in front of me. Outside the car window, the highway stretched endlessly through white emptiness. Inside, the heater was blasting, but I still felt cold. The heart surgery I’d had half a month ago had already drained all my energy. When I was discharged, the surgeon had warned me repeatedly in front of Ethan that I absolutely could not get cold. Ethan had listened so carefully then, even gripping the doctor’s hand and promising to take good care of me. But now, I was curled up in a corner of the back seat. My hand clutched the last hand warmer—my lifeline. It was my only source of heat in this whole car. “I want that! I want that warm thing!” A shrill wail shattered the car’s silence. In the passenger seat, Lauren’s spoiled brat Jason was pointing at my hand warmer, kicking and throwing a tantrum. He was wearing a thick down jacket, and his neck was covered in sweat from overheating. Lauren turned around, looking at me with a troubled expression. “Hope, look how much Jason’s crying. He’s sweating all over. The heater’s on full blast, and with all this fussing, he’ll catch a cold from going back and forth between hot and cold.” “Can you just let him play with the hand warmer for a bit to calm him down?” I glanced at the sweat on the child’s face, pulled my coat tighter, and shook my head, my face pale. “No. I just had surgery. My wound still hurts, and I’m cold too.” It was the truth. The ten-inch incision on my chest was aching from the cold. Ever since we got in the car, Ethan had adjusted all the vents toward the front to accommodate Lauren and the child. By comparison, the back seat felt like an icebox. I pressed the hand warmer closer to my chest. When Jason heard my refusal, he cried even harder. He even grabbed his toy and hurled it at me viciously. “No! I want it! Mean lady! Stingy! I’ll tell my godfather to kill you!” The hard plastic corner hit me right on the temple. “Ah—” I gasped in pain, my body lurching forward. “Screech—!” Ethan, who was driving, slammed on the brakes. The momentum threw me hard against the seat in front. My barely healed chest wound tore open instantly, the pain nearly making me pass out. I thought Ethan was worried about me. But the next second, he turned around. Those eyes that once looked at me with affection were now filled with nothing but impatience and disgust. “Hope, do you have any compassion at all?” “Jason’s only five years old. You’re the adult here. Why are you arguing with a child? Will it kill you to give him that cheap hand warmer?” “It’s just one hand warmer. How much could it cost? If you’re that stingy, I’ll buy you a whole box when we get home, okay?” I clutched my wound in pain, unable to believe this was the man I once loved. Three years ago, I was the cherished daughter of the Walker family. For him, I broke ties with my family and lived in a basement apartment, eating instant noodles with him. Back then, he said, “Hope, I will never let you down in this lifetime.” “Ethan, I’m a patient. I just came out of surgery.” My voice trembled as I pointed to my chest. “The doctor said I absolutely cannot get cold. Only the front of this car has heat. Are you trying to kill me?” Ethan let out a cold laugh, his eyes full of mockery. “Enough. Stop pretending.” “You’re not usually this delicate. How come you start having all these issues the moment Lauren gets in the car? Cold, pain, everything.” “You just want me to kick them out, don’t you? Hope, how can you be so petty?” “Lauren’s a single mom raising a kid. It’s not easy. Can’t you be more understanding?” Lauren quickly grabbed Ethan’s sleeve, her voice breaking. “Ethan, don’t blame Hope. It’s all my fault.” “I shouldn’t have asked to ride with you back home. I definitely shouldn’t have brought Jason.” “Jason, stop crying. This lady is delicate. That hand warmer is her lifeline. We don’t deserve to use it.” This retreat-to-advance tactic completely ignited Ethan’s anger. He looked at Lauren’s aggrieved expression with such heartache, then turned to me with even more vicious eyes. He yanked off his seatbelt and pointed at the door, shouting at me. “Hope, either give Jason the hand warmer, or get the hell out of my car right now!” “There’s no room in this car for a cold-blooded person like you!” I looked at his resolute face, my heart sinking deeper and deeper. “Ethan, what did you say?” “I said, get out!” With that, he unlocked all the doors.

“Ethan, this is a highway. It’s minus twenty degrees outside.” “And I have an open wound. Are you sure you want to throw me out?” Ethan sneered dismissively. “Who are you trying to scare? The service station is just three miles ahead.” “Since you’re so afraid of the cold, get out and run. Running will warm you up.” “It’ll be good for a spoiled princess like you to wake up and learn how to be a decent human being!” “Don’t think I’ve forgotten how your father humiliated me back then.” “Now the tables have turned. It’s time you got a taste of being thrown out too.” So he’d been holding a grudge all this time about the harsh things my father said when trying to stop me from leaving with him. Even though I gave up my inheritance for him. Even though I became a housewife for him, the thorn in his heart had never been removed. Cold wind rushed in through the door crack, bone-chillingly cold. Jason made faces at me from the front seat with glee. “Bye-bye! Mean lady get out! Godfather’s the best!” I looked at the ugly faces of everyone in this car, and the last bit of hope in my heart died completely. “Fine.” I didn’t argue anymore. With trembling hands, I pushed open the door. As I got out, I looked back at Ethan one last time. “Ethan, don’t regret this.” Ethan didn’t even look at me as he hit the gas. “Slam!” The door wasn’t even fully closed when the car shot forward. The wheels kicked up dirty snow and ice water, splashing all over me. My pants were instantly soaked through. I stood on the deserted highway, surrounded by endless white. I still clutched that unopened hand warmer in my hand. Worse yet, my backpack was still in the car. It contained the anti-rejection medication I had to take on schedule after surgery. The doctor had said that if I went more than an hour without this imported anti-rejection drug, my heart would go into severe failure. I had less than half an hour until my next dose. The minus-twenty-degree wind felt like needles piercing densely into my pores. I pulled my thin cashmere coat tighter. Every step I took sent tearing pain through the incision on my chest. This coat was one I’d brought with me three years ago when I left home for Ethan. Back then he said he’d buy me the finest fur coat one day and never let me suffer the cold. The irony was almost laughable now. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out. My frozen fingers could barely swipe the screen. It was a message from Ethan on SnapChat. Just a photo. In it, Lauren sat in the passenger seat. She was wearing Ethan’s down jacket, holding a pink rechargeable hand warmer. Jason was draped over Ethan’s shoulder, laughing happily, playing with several hand warmers in his hands. The caption read: [Some people just need to be taught a lesson. Let her freeze out there and cool off, then she’ll know who really runs this household.] Right after that, Lauren’s social media updated too. [Even though it’s freezing outside, it’s warm and cozy in here.] [Thank you Ethan for taking care of us and finding hand warmers everywhere. Jason says his godfather loves him the most.] The photo was a close-up of Jason. In his hands, he was tossing around a plain white pill bottle like building blocks. The moment I recognized that bottle, my whole body froze. My blood felt like it turned to ice. That was my life-saving medication! These pills were extremely fragile—the slightest pressure would crush them and make them ineffective. Ethan, you’re trying to kill me!

I called Ethan frantically. The wind was too strong. My hands shook even harder. I nearly dropped the phone. First call—he hung up. Second call—he hung up. Third call—he finally answered. “Hope, are you ready to apologize?” Ethan’s lazy voice came through the phone, accompanied by cheerful music in the car. “Ethan! Tell Jason to put down that pill bottle!” I screamed into the phone. The cold wind rushed into my mouth, making me cough. “That’s my life-saving medication! It can’t be dropped! It can’t be played with!” “Where are you? Stop the car! I need to take my medication! Please, give me back my pills—cough, cough!” The line went silent for two seconds, then Lauren’s sweet voice came through. “Hope, don’t be so fierce. You’re scaring the child.” “Jason’s just curious and looking at it. He’s not throwing it around. Look at you—where’s your maturity as an adult?” “Besides, it’s just a bottle of vitamins. Do you really need to make such a big deal out of it?” “If you want some, I’ll buy you a bottle at the service station up ahead.” Ethan chimed in impatiently. “Hope, are you addicted to acting?” “Making up stories about life-saving medication just to trick me into coming back for you? Do you think I’m stupid?” “The bottle’s covered in English. You think I can’t read? It’s just some cheap health supplement.” “Jason likes the sound the bottle makes. What’s wrong with letting him play with it for a bit? Is it really that serious?” Tears were about to fall from my desperation. “Ethan, I’m not lying. That really is medication the doctor prescribed! If it breaks, it’s useless!” “My heart feels terrible right now… Ethan, I’m begging you, that’s my life…” My voice was already breaking into sobs. The once-proud Hope Walker was now humbled into the dust. On the other end of the line, Ethan seemed to pause for a moment—perhaps my tone was too desperate. But soon, Lauren’s voice came through again. “Ethan, look at Hope. She’ll say any curse just to get you to come back.” “Didn’t the doctor say last time that she was recovering well? How come she’s suddenly dying the moment she gets out of the car? I think she’s just jealous of how good you are to Jason.” “Ethan, I’m not lying, it really is—” Ethan let out a light laugh. “You want your medication? Fine.” “Beep—” He hung up. When I called again, his phone was off. I looked out at the vast snow and wind. My feet could barely move anymore. My chest started feeling tight—a sign my heart wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I knew I didn’t have much time left. I had to find help before I collapsed. But on this cursed highway, because of the snowstorm closure, not a single car had passed for ages. I gritted my teeth and dragged my heavy legs forward. My crooked footprints in the snow were quickly covered by fresh snowfall. Back when I was with the Walker family, I was the cherished daughter. If I so much as got a paper cut, the whole family would worry for days. For Ethan, I learned to cook, learned to haggle at the grocery store, learned to endure his bitter mother. I thought if I just gave my true heart, even a stone would eventually warm up. But now I understood. Stones don’t warm up. They just kill you. My vision started to blur. I’d lost all feeling in my hands and feet. Just then, my phone screen lit up again. It was a video call from Lauren. With trembling hands, I answered, hoping to beg them to bring back my medication, or at least leave it by the roadside. The moment the video connected, I saw a scene that shattered my heart.

Jason was taking my pill bottle and slamming it against the car window. “Bang! Bang!” “Watch my meteor hammer! Gonna kill the big monster!” Each impact felt like it was striking my heart. “Stop… please… stop…” I begged weakly, my legs already unable to support my weight. I collapsed into the snow. Ethan glanced at my pitiful state on the screen and laughed again. “Hope, you look so ugly right now.” “Want your medication? Fine.” “Kneel down on video and apologize to Lauren and Jason. Say ‘I was wrong, I shouldn’t have been so petty,’ and I’ll consider stopping the car to wait for you.” I looked at that face that once captivated me, now only feeling utterly disgusted. “Ethan… you’ll regret this…” “If I die… you won’t survive either…” If I died here, the Walker family would never let him off. But Ethan burst out laughing, as if he’d heard the funniest joke. “Die? You, Hope, with your tough life—you left home for three years and didn’t starve to death. You think walking a few steps will kill you?” “Stop playing pitiful. I’ll count to three. If you don’t kneel, Jason’s throwing away these pills.” “Three.” “Two.” Jason grinned as he started to reach his hand out the window. At that very moment. “Crack!” The fragile pill bottle shattered under Jason’s forceful grip. White pills scattered all over the car, then Jason swept them disgustedly onto the floor mat. “Eww, gross!” Jason shrieked, stomping on the floor mat several times. The originally white pills instantly turned to powder, mixing into the dirty water. Lauren let out a cry. “Oh my, this child’s so strong. Ethan, look, your car’s getting dirty.” Ethan frowned, glanced at the powder on the floor, and said dismissively: “It’s fine. Just some cheap vitamins. We’ll buy more later. The car can be washed.” In the video, he turned to look at me and shrugged. “Hope, see that? That’s what you get for dragging your feet.” “The pills are gone, so stop acting. If we don’t see you at the service station up ahead, we’re leaving.” My heart convulsed violently. That was the feeling of life draining away. The phone slipped from my frozen hands and fell into a snowdrift. The world began to spin. Darkness consumed me from all sides. I collapsed onto the frozen snow. My cheek pressed against the ice, but I felt no cold because my body was colder than the snow itself. On this New Year’s Eve, like an abandoned dog, I was about to die on this deserted highway. I suddenly thought of my family. Scenes flashed through my mind like a film reel. In the last moment before losing consciousness, I saw several blinding headlights appear on the horizon in the distance. Those were… luxury cars Ethan could never afford in his lifetime.

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