The Divorce I Should Have Asked for Years Ago

Three days after I asked for a divorce, I spotted my husband Derek’s car parked by the roadside. My best friend Vivian was inside, her arms wrapped around my husband. When she saw me, she smirked and said: “Emma, you really need to stop fighting with Derek. He’s been asking me to drink with him every night lately. Last night, he even held me naked while we slept.” My husband quickly explained, “Don’t be ridiculous. If you hadn’t suddenly put on her nightgown, would I have mistaken you for her?” I smiled calmly and said to my best friend: “He has a sex addiction. If you two aren’t planning on having kids, make sure you use protection.” The moment I said that, Derek’s face turned dark. “What did you just say?” Derek asked, shocked. A flash of surprise crossed Vivian’s eyes, but then she burst out laughing. “Emma, I was just joking. I’ve explained this to you before—Derek and I are just friends.” Derek’s expression softened slightly as he spoke: “There were other people drinking with us. Besides, Vivian has been your friend for years. Even if you don’t trust me, you shouldn’t distrust her.” In the past, hearing something like this would have driven me crazy. But now, I felt nothing. The air fell silent. Then Vivian said: “Oh, and I only wore your nightgown because I forgot to bring a change of clothes when I came over last night. I couldn’t exactly sleep in your bed smelling like alcohol. Don’t overthink it.” Seeing that I remained unmoved, she suddenly smiled as if remembering something. “By the way, that lingerie of yours is pretty sexy. Can you send me the link? I want to buy one too.” I shook my head calmly. “He bought it. I don’t have the link.” Vivian froze for a moment, her smile stiffening. “Derek bought it? I never would have guessed. He looks so proper, but apparently he’s into this kind of naughty stuff. No wonder he said he didn’t like the boxers I got him for Valentine’s Day. Turns out they weren’t sexy enough for him.” I thought back to last Valentine’s Day, when my relationship with Derek had hit rock bottom. He had never been one to make the first move, but suddenly he asked me to dinner at my favorite restaurant. For once, I felt a glimmer of the warmth we used to share. Then Vivian showed up with a group of people. They wheeled in a hideous cake and started singing “Since U Been Gone.” Then Vivian pulled out matching his-and-hers underwear and laughed loudly: “This is my Valentine’s gift for you two.” And just like that, she left. I threw a glass of water in Derek’s face and slapped him. He pressed his lips together impatiently and said, “She’s always been like this. You know that. She’s your friend too—what’s there to argue about?” Yeah. Before I met Derek, I thought Vivian would be my best friend for life. We’d shared the same pair of jeans, sipped from the same smoothie with one straw, and whispered our deepest secrets to each other late at night. Until Derek came along, and I became the third wheel. I cried until I had no tears left and confronted him. “Derek, do you have any conscience at all? I cut ties with my own parents to marry you!” His response was cold: “You already had a bad relationship with your parents. That has nothing to do with me.” Those words were like a knife through my heart, and they finally woke me up. Thinking about all this, I said to Vivian: “He’s bought quite a few nightgowns like that. If you like them, take them all. I don’t want them anymore.” Hearing this, Derek suddenly sneered: “Emma, I thought you’d have calmed down by now. Turns out you’ve just switched to playing hard to get. Don’t you ever get tired of being so dramatic?”

The divorce was my idea. On our wedding anniversary, Vivian showed up uninvited with all our friends to “celebrate” with us. What was supposed to be my special day turned into a party for everyone else. During the celebration, Vivian got tipsy and admitted in front of everyone that she had fallen in love with a friend’s husband. Everyone exchanged knowing glances at Derek. He just smiled helplessly and said, “Cut it out.” I flipped the table right then and there. Derek handled the situation smoothly, sending everyone away. Afterward, I screamed at him that I wanted a divorce. He just stared at me coldly for a long time. Then he agreed. I moved out of his house. He didn’t try to stop me. He just smirked coldly: “Thirty days. That should be enough time for you to cool off.” My phone buzzed—my ride was almost here. “Whatever you say.” I looked at my phone, not wanting to argue with him. Derek’s face darkened, but finally he spoke: “Get in the car.” “It’s Professor Williams’s birthday party today. If she sees that we didn’t arrive together, she’ll start asking questions.” “No need. My ride’s already here.” The car had pulled up beside us. I walked straight over and got in. The moment I closed the door, Derek’s car sped past, grazing the exact spot where I had just been standing. The driver jumped in his seat and cursed. “What the hell is wrong with that guy!” “Are you okay?” I shook my head calmly, saying nothing. I just rolled down the window and let the breeze wash over my face. Suddenly, I remembered—even back when he was too poor to afford a scooter, Derek was like this. Even with no parents, his faded blue school uniform washed nearly white, his face full of world-weariness— Nothing could stop him from being the most dazzling presence in any crowd. Because before he became one of the city’s most successful young entrepreneurs, he was a painting prodigy who had amazed countless people. One year, he nearly missed an important competition because he couldn’t afford the entry fee. I gritted my teeth and paid it with my living expenses, then stretched what was left to feed us both. Until my mother found out. She humiliated him in front of everyone on the crowded school grounds. While I was still naively dreaming about his trophy— He turned in a blank exam paper. And never picked up a brush again. He started skipping class, staying out overnight, starting a business with people I’d never met. When I asked why, he only said he wanted to give me a better life. He was still gentle and caring, but sometimes it all felt like a long, silent cold war. Later, when I found out the truth, I had a huge fight with my family. Out of guilt, I threw myself into supporting his plans for the future. So when Vivian first promised to look after Derek for me outside of school, I was nothing but grateful. They started having more and more in common. At first, I stood between them, arms linked with both, smiling as I brought them closer. Later, they were the ones with their arms around each other, joking like old buddies, while I stood off to the side, smiling. Unable to get a word in. Until that New Year’s Eve, when Derek was depressed over a business setback. I gathered all his friends for a party. As the countdown began, I finally saw a hint of relief on his face. “…Three, two, one—zero!” The moment the fireworks exploded, my smiling eyes went wide with shock. Vivian had grabbed his tie and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. All the cheering and noise around me went silent. My racing heart stopped for a beat. Then came the endless fall. The woman met my gaze, winked playfully, then kissed my cheek too, completely unfazed. “Emma, Happy New Year!” My lips trembled. I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly remembered what a friend had joked about not long ago. “Emma, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but honestly, it looks like your boyfriend’s fallen in love again.” “I saw them at a bar the other day—they were practically making out.” … The rumors never stopped. I never believed them. But looking at Derek’s smile, I wasn’t sure anymore. I became suspicious and paranoid. I started showing up at their gatherings constantly, watching every little detail when they were together. I’d probe our other friends for their opinions while trying every trick I’d learned from relationship advice accounts to figure out if there was really something between them. Until one night, I got up and grabbed his phone to check all his social media. The moment I turned off the screen, I saw his eyes—wide open in the darkness. In my panic, I accidentally called Vivian. The call was answered almost instantly. Her sultry voice came through: “Derek? Did you really put a tracker in my brain or something? I was just lying here thinking about you and couldn’t sleep, and then you called. What’s up? Were you thinking about me too…” “Vivian,” I suddenly spoke. “Have you no shame?” Silence on the other end. Before I could say another word— Derek snatched the phone from my hand. “Emma, enough is enough. Haven’t you embarrassed yourself enough these past few weeks?” Looking at Derek’s furious face, my eyes welled up. “I’m the one who’s embarrassed?” “One of you is my boyfriend, the other is my best friend—and you two are sneaking around behind my back. Isn’t that embarrassing?” A vein throbbed on Derek’s forehead. “Don’t you have any judgment of your own? I’ve been tolerating your nonsense because I thought you’d eventually see reason. But you’re still being completely unreasonable!” Vivian’s voice came through the phone, choked with tears. “Emma, I had no idea you thought of me this way. Maybe you don’t realize it, but this is just how we talk to each other. It’s all just jokes.” “I know our way of interacting bothers you, but Derek isn’t just your boyfriend—he’s my friend too. I can’t just distance myself from him because of you. I hope you can understand.” “If it really upsets you, I can post something online to clarify that there’s nothing between us.” Derek suddenly looked up at me. “Emma, if you’re going to keep making a scene, then let’s just break up.”

That was the first time Derek ever mentioned breaking up with me. And the last. That night, I booked a flight, turned off my phone, and disappeared for an entire month. Until one day, in the morning mist of the mountains, I saw him—red-eyed and disheveled. He had come for me, but he didn’t say a word. He just quietly set up a tent beside the little cabin I was renting and made it his home. Before dawn, he’d already chopped wood and fetched water for me. When I went out to sketch, he followed at a distance, never saying anything. … Everything he did was so unlike the proud man I knew. Eventually, even the other young travelers staying in the village started teasing me, telling me to forgive him. Forgive him? I wasn’t that naive. But when I saw Derek crying and begging for my forgiveness after getting drunk—everything changed. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry. He swore he had no feelings for Vivian beyond friendship and promised to keep his distance from her. He apologized over and over, begging me not to really leave him. Rekindling a flame is easy. I forgave him quickly. And said yes when he proposed. But I never expected my parents’ opposition to be so fierce. They had already arranged a match for me—someone from a wealthy family. They refused to let me marry beneath my status. In the end, my father threw a document at me in a rage, threatening to disown me if I didn’t break off the engagement. I cried for a whole month. Then, out of spite, I signed it. We had a small wedding. We couldn’t afford much—even my dress was rented. My parents weren’t there. Derek noticed something was wrong. That night, he pinned me down and took me over and over without saying a word. Until the very end, when he bit my ear and whispered: “Emma, stop being foolish for my sake.” I didn’t understand back then. Later, I realized what he meant. He didn’t think it was worth it. I didn’t need to betray my parents for him. And he didn’t need my unwavering devotion that badly. “We’re here.” The driver’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. The car stopped outside the courtyard of a well-known private restaurant. As soon as I stepped out, I heard Professor Williams’s voice at the entrance. “Is Emma here?” I adjusted my expression and walked in with a smile. “Professor Williams, I’m sorry I’m late.” Professor Williams had silver hair at her temples but walked with steady steps—a sharp, spirited old woman. “I was just asking Derek why he didn’t bring you when he drove over.” I smiled and explained, “I’ve been staying on the east side of town lately. It was faster to take a cab.” Professor Williams didn’t say anything, just squeezed my hand a little tighter, then led me to sit beside her. Once everyone had exchanged greetings and given their gifts, the atmosphere grew lively. After a few drinks, someone joked: “Out of all of us, Derek’s got the best luck. He was the golden boy at school, made a fortune in business, and even married a sweet, wealthy heiress.” Someone pointed at Vivian and laughed: “And he’s got a beauty helping him with his career too!” Vivian laughed in response: “Derek’s my boss—basically my sugar daddy. Of course I help him!” “But really, Emma’s the luckiest one. She’s a real trophy wife now.” Others at the table chimed in agreement. I kept my head down and continued eating, saying nothing. Professor Williams set down her fork gently. “That’s not quite fair. Back in the day, Emma sold all her designer bags and worked three part-time jobs just to help Derek stay in school.” The room went silent. Someone laughed awkwardly to smooth things over: “You’re right, Professor. We didn’t know about all that. We misunderstood Emma.” But Vivian scoffed: “Well, if Derek hadn’t saved Emma back then, she wouldn’t even be here today.”

In the silence, Derek finally spoke up. “Alright, today is Professor Williams’s birthday. Let’s stop talking about me.” He raised his glass and invited everyone to toast. I took a quiet sip of wine, my mind drifting back to that summer when I first started school. Maybe it was because the car that dropped me off was too flashy—people started spreading rumors about me behind my back. They said I was being kept by some older man. After class that day, everyone scattered, and I sat alone at my desk, crying softly until the sky grew dark. When I finally got up to leave, I realized a strange man had walked into the room. The disgusting middle-aged man grabbed my arm. I screamed and ran, but he chased after me. Until I fell into Derek’s arms. He couldn’t afford a dorm, so he’d set up a makeshift bed in the school’s storage room. Our classmates covered for him, and the teachers turned a blind eye. The boy who had always seemed so cold and aloof suddenly seemed so tall and strong. He chased the man away and called the police. It wasn’t until he helped me into the ambulance that he finally spoke. “Stop crying. I’ll take you home.” That’s how we met. That’s how we fell in love. And that’s how the rest of our story began. Thinking about it now, I let out a bitter laugh. I still don’t know how we ended up here. I’d had too much to drink, so I got up to use the restroom. But as I passed the smoking area, I heard Vivian’s giggling voice. “Did you see her face just now? I almost died laughing.” “After all these years, she still doesn’t know that you were the one who told us to lock that door, does she, Derek?” I froze in place. A chill ran up my spine, nearly knocking me off my feet. Derek’s voice came, tinged with resignation. “Stop bringing up the past. I was young and stupid back then.” “Don’t tell me you still feel guilty? You used to hate how she was always crying all the time. And then you dated her, married her—you basically gave her half your life.” “Exactly. Our Derek used to have girls lining up for him. And look at him now—he’s a catch. If you ask me, she’s the one who got lucky.” “Hey, do you think if I mess with her again, she’ll freak out like she used to? That was always so fun.” Derek cut her off immediately. “I’m warning you—don’t even think about it.” “Okay, okay…” Their voices grew closer. When the door swung open, tears had blurred my vision—but I could still see the lingering smile on Derek’s face. Which quickly turned to panic.

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