Pills for Obedience

The ring my husband Kieran White gave me was engraved with his first love Iris Yates’ name. In a fit of rage, I threw the gold cufflinks Iris had given him into the sewer drain. He held my mother’s critical medication hostage and threatened me: “Get those cufflinks back! Otherwise, you can watch your mother die!” I searched frantically through the sewer for a day and a night like a madwoman. Kieran threw the pills at my feet with satisfaction: “You should have been this obedient from the start. Don’t worry, you’ll still be my wife!” I stiffly pulled at the corners of my mouth and gently placed the medicine bottle on the table. “I don’t need it anymore.” He didn’t know that while he was forcing me to find those cufflinks, my mother’s heart had already stopped beating. Kieran picked up the medicine bottle from the table and smashed it hard against my face. “Selena Moore, what kind of tantrum are you throwing now?” I picked up the bottle from the floor expressionlessly and said softly: “Kieran, I really don’t need it anymore. Let’s get divorced. I don’t want the position of Mrs. White.” Kieran was furious. He gripped my chin tightly, veins bulging on the back of his hand: “Selena, don’t test my limits! If you hadn’t used underhanded tactics to marry me, how would Iris have developed depression? Now you want to just walk away? Don’t even think about it!” He paused, a flash of cruelty crossing his eyes: “By the way, I promised Iris I’d punish you by making you kneel and recite prayers for her.” He forced me to kneel on a pile of Lego pieces. Sharp pain shot through my knees, but my heart had long since gone numb. Kieran frowned, his tone full of mockery: “Selena, stop playing the victim. This is the punishment you deserve.” Before he finished speaking, my phone rang sharply, interrupting him. He snatched the phone and pressed the answer button. A nurse’s formal voice came through: “Is this Miss Selena? Please come to the hospital as soon as possible to settle Ms. Linda Scott’s hospital bill and complete the procedures for the deceased’s transfer.” At the word “deceased,” my whole body trembled. I tried to grab the phone back. But Kieran shoved me to the ground. “Selena, I really underestimated you.” He looked down at me from above, his eyes ice-cold. “To force me to give you money, you’d even stage a show cursing your own mother?” I clutched my phone, looking at the hospital’s payment reminder on the screen, my voice hoarse from trembling: “Kieran, I’m not lying to you… Because there was no medication, my mom is already dead. I don’t want the medicine. I don’t need the money either. I need to go bury my mother. Please let me pass.” Kieran’s whole body stiffened, then he sneered: “You think I’ll believe a pathological liar like you? You want to leave? Fine. As long as you eat this entire bottle of pills, I’ll let you go.” I looked at him in disbelief, agitated: “Kieran, you know I’m allergic to medication. If I take a whole bottle… my allergy will have an acute reaction. I’ll go into shock!” Kieran beckoned, and the bodyguards behind him immediately stepped forward to hold me down. “Selena, I told you to stop playing hard to get.” His voice was laced with ice. “Didn’t you say your mom died? If you don’t take it, I’ll have someone throw that mother of yours who’s still lying in the hospital out to feed the dogs!” “I’ll take it!” I roared, breaking free from the bodyguards, and slowly picked up the medicine bottle from the table. Tilting my head back, I resolutely poured the entire bottle of pills into my mouth. Tears slid from the corners of my eyes into my hair and disappeared without a trace. The bitter taste of the pills instantly spread through my mouth, followed by the suffocating sensation and skin irritation from the allergic reaction. I forced myself to endure the physical discomfort and staggered toward the door. But Kieran rushed over in a few steps, pulled me back, and pressed me hard against the cold wall. “Without my permission, you’re not going anywhere!” “You want a divorce? Fine. Kneel down, put those Legos together, and beg me. If I’m in a good mood, I might consider it.” His phone rang at an inopportune moment. The screen showed “My Iris.” Kieran instantly reined in all his anger, his voice so gentle it could drip water. “Iris, don’t worry, I’ll come pick you up right away.” “There’s something to handle at home. An insignificant person throwing a tantrum.” He soothed Iris on the other end while warning me with his eyes—a look that said if I made a sound, I was dead. After hanging up, he straightened his tie, returning to his refined public persona. “I’m going out. Before I get back, if you dare step one foot out this door…” He paused, leaning close to my ear, using a voice only we could hear: “I’ll make you experience what it truly means to lose everything.” He turned and left, the door slamming shut heavily. I slid down the wall to sit on the floor, coughing violently, forcing myself to vomit up the pills I’d just swallowed. After a long while, I took out my phone and dialed that number. “Hello, I’m Linda Scott’s daughter. I’m coming over now.”

In the morgue, I looked at the hospital bed covered with a white sheet, unable to find the courage to approach. The staff member urged from the side: “Please identify the body.” I took a deep breath, my hand trembling as I lifted a corner of the white sheet. My mother’s face was peaceful, as if she were just sleeping. But I knew she would never wake up again, never smile and call me “Lena” again. Tears finally broke through. I collapsed to my knees by the bed, crying until my heart broke. During these three days, Kieran didn’t make a single phone call. Of course not—he was with his beloved. How could he remember this eyesore of a wife? I stood at the payment counter, ready to pay the funeral expenses, when I received a bank message. [Dear customer, your bank card has been frozen. Current available balance: 0.] Behind me stretched a long line. Everyone looked at me strangely. It was Kieran. He always kept his word. In that moment, I felt like a clown stripped naked, exposed before everyone’s eyes. I dialed Kieran’s number. It rang for a long time before being answered. In the background, I could hear Iris’s coquettish laughter. “Kieran, you froze my card?” “Oh? Finally remembered?” His voice was lazy. “Learn your lesson. Stop talking about divorce at every turn.” “I need money for my mom’s funeral. Just a thousand-dollar deposit is enough.” My voice was completely flat, humbly pleading. Iris’s voice came through the phone: “Kieran, who is it? Is Miss Moore asking for spending money again?” “I just saw this ‘Heart of the Ocean’ necklace I love. It’s only ten million. Will you buy it for me?” Kieran immediately soothed her gently: “Of course. If you like it, buy it. It’s fine, just a telemarketer.” Then he lowered his voice and said viciously to me: “Selena, haven’t you caused enough trouble? Still using your mother as an excuse?” “A thousand dollars? What am I, a charity? Let me tell you, you’re not getting a cent!” “Get back here right now! Don’t make me come get you myself!” He hung up the phone. I stood there holding the cold phone, wooden and still, my heart shattered beyond repair. People behind me started getting impatient: “Are you going to do this or not? If not, move aside!” I retreated awkwardly to the side, looking at the sparse contacts in my phone, not knowing who to turn to. Finally, I took off the bracelet from my wrist. It was the only keepsake my mother left me, part of her wedding dowry from years ago. I took it to a pawn shop. With the money from pawning the bracelet and what little cash I had left, I finally paid all the fees and chose a burial plot for my mother. Coming out of City Hall, the sky had completely darkened. I held my mother’s small urn, walking along the cold, empty street. A black Bentley slowly stopped in front of me. The window rolled down, revealing Kieran’s stern face. Beside him sat Iris, smiling sweetly. He saw the urn in my arms, frowned deeply, his eyes full of undisguised disgust. “Selena, you’ll really do anything for money.” “Carrying around a box to put on a show for whom? Addicted to acting?” Iris poked her head out, asking with feigned innocence: “Kieran, what is that? Why is Miss Moore walking around the street holding a jar? How unlucky.” Kieran snorted coldly: “She says her mother died. Putting on a show for me.” Iris covered her mouth, exclaiming exaggeratedly: “Oh my God, Miss Moore, you’re so inappropriate. How can you joke about your mother’s health?” “Kieran hates being lied to most of all.” She changed her tone, looking at the urn in my arms, “But this prop looks quite realistic. Miss Moore, is there flour inside?” Kieran was guided by her words. He pushed open the car door and snatched the urn from my arms. “Let me see what’s inside this prop of yours.” He made to open it. “No!” I lunged forward, trying to protect that small box. “Kieran, give it back to me! That’s my mother!” “Give it back to you? So you can keep using this prop to scam money?” He sneered, restraining me with one hand while holding the urn high with the other. Under Iris’s entertained gaze, he violently smashed the urn on the ground! With a dull thud, the box shattered into pieces. Gray-white ashes mixed with dust, scattered by the evening wind. “Now you have no prop.” He looked at me, his eyes cold as a knife. “You want money, don’t you? As long as you admit your mother isn’t dead and this was all an act for money, I’ll transfer you a million right now.” My world completely collapsed in that moment. I looked at the ashes scattered on the ground, my mind blank. That was my mother… my only mother… I dropped to my knees like a madwoman, reaching out to catch those gray-white particles, but a gust of wind blew them away. Nothing remained. Tears blurred my vision. I thought back to three years ago. Back then, my mother was seriously ill. I was desperate. Kieran descended like a god, paying all the medical expenses for me. “Lena, don’t worry. With me here, your mother will be fine. I’ll give you and your mother a home.” I thought I’d found salvation, so I married him without hesitation. But I forgot that his heart already belonged to someone else—Iris. After our marriage was announced, Iris, who was abroad, developed depression. Kieran became convinced that I had used underhanded tactics to drive her away and then triggered her with our marriage. From that point on, the tenderness in his eyes vanished completely, replaced by endless resentment and torment. Now, he’d destroyed my last connection with his own hands.

I don’t know how I made it back to the White estate. Kieran dragged me back and threw me into the room like a piece of garbage. Iris followed behind him, saying with false sympathy: “Kieran, don’t be angry. Miss Moore probably didn’t mean it. She must have her reasons.” Kieran waved his hand irritably: “Go back first. I need to handle something.” After Iris left, only suffocating silence remained in the room. Kieran looked down at me curled up on the floor, his eyes devoid of warmth. “Done with your act? Now we can talk about the divorce.” I slowly raised my head, my hollow gaze meeting his: “I agree to divorce.” He seemed surprised by how readily I agreed. After a moment’s pause, he sneered: “Agree? Selena, you think divorce ends everything?” “What you owe Iris, you can never repay in this lifetime!” The next day, Iris came again. She brought a document and threw it in front of me. “Miss Moore, Kieran asked me to give you this.” “Haven’t you always wanted to work? Kieran arranged it for you.” I opened it to find a janitor’s contract. The workplace was White Corporation headquarters. “Also,” Iris took out an exquisite jewelry box from her bag. “This is from Kieran. He said I’m more suited to be Mrs. White than you.” Inside the box was a necklace I once loved most. Kieran said he’d give it to me on my birthday, but on that day, he went abroad with Iris instead. Iris flaunted everything she’d received in front of me, then suddenly changed her tone. She suddenly grabbed my hand and used the necklace to cut a bloody mark across my wrist. Then she threw the necklace hard on the ground and fell down herself. “Ah—” She started screaming. Kieran happened to push the door open at that moment. What he saw was Iris on the ground, the necklace broken, and blood on my hands. “Selena!” He roared, rushing over, shoving me aside and nervously helping Iris up. “Iris, are you okay?” “Kieran, I’m fine…” Iris cried pitifully. “Miss Moore probably didn’t mean it. She just… just saw the necklace you gave me and was upset…” “I didn’t… I didn’t…” I tried to explain weakly. But Kieran wouldn’t listen. “Vicious woman! If you can’t have it, you’ll destroy it? Iris came to see you out of kindness, and this is how you treat her?” He grabbed my throat and pinned me against the wall. “I must have been blind to think you were different from those social climbers!” Suffocation set in. I looked at the towering hatred in his eyes, my heart dead as ash. So even that tiny bit of trust he had in me had long since been worn away. He released his grip. I slid to the floor, coughing violently. He coldly announced: “Didn’t you want to buy a burial plot for your mother?” “I’ve changed my mind. Starting today, you’ll work as a janitor in this villa. When I’m satisfied, then we’ll talk about the burial plot.” He thought he could control me with the burial plot, not knowing… I’d already lost my mother’s ashes. What was the point of a burial plot?

I lived a life worse than a servant’s in the villa. Mopping floors, doing laundry, cleaning every corner. Kieran and Iris performed scene after scene of their loving relationship right in front of me. They kissed in the living room I’d just cleaned. They shared dinner at the dining table I’d just polished. Iris would deliberately spill red wine on the floor, then say with a laugh: “Selena, please clean this up. Kieran says you mop floors the best.” I numbly did everything, but my abdomen often throbbed with dull pain. Then I remembered—my period was almost two months late. An absurd thought flashed through my mind. I took advantage of going out to buy groceries and secretly went to a pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. When I saw those two clear red lines, my whole body went cold. I was… pregnant. I held the pregnancy test, sitting on the toilet, unable to move for a long time. While I was in shock, Iris found me again. She seemed to notice something was wrong. Her eyes swept over my flat stomach, a strange smile curling at the corners of her mouth. “Miss Moore, why do you look so awful? Are you sick?” As she spoke, she suddenly rushed toward me. I instinctively backed away, but she slipped and rolled straight down the stairs. “Ah!” Before I could react, Kieran rushed out of the study. He saw Iris at the bottom of the stairs and me standing at the top. His eyes turned bloodshot. “Selena! What did you do to Iris!” He rushed over like a madman and slapped me hard across the face. I fell to the ground from the blow. Sharp pain shot through my lower abdomen. A hot stream flowed from below. “Kieran… my stomach hurts so much…” Iris cried from downstairs. Kieran didn’t even glance at me. He rushed downstairs, picked up Iris, and ran outside. As he passed me, he stopped and said, his voice like ice: “Selena, if anything happens to Iris or the baby in her belly, I’ll make you and your dead mother pay with your lives!” What did he say? Iris… was pregnant too? I lay on the cold floor. Blood stained my dress. I watched his back as he anxiously carried another woman away, and finally, I laughed. I laughed and laughed, and then tears streamed down. So he wasn’t against having children. He just didn’t want my child. I remembered when we first got married, he’d held me and said: “Lena, let’s have a baby. One as beautiful as you.” Back then, the tenderness in his eyes could almost drown a person. But now, it was all a joke. The baby was gone. My mother was gone. Selena, you truly have nothing left in this world. I used my last bit of strength to crawl up from the floor and return to my room. I took out the divorce agreement I’d prepared long ago. As I signed my name, my hand didn’t tremble at all. Then I changed out of my blood-stained clothes, dragging my broken body, step by step, out of the White estate. This time, I would never look back. Kieran, goodbye.

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