Divorced Over Cilantro

At noon, I opened my lunch box in the office and found something shocking inside the container my wife, Emma, had packed for me—a pack of cigarettes and a condom. She’d also added cilantro to the salad. The moment I saw everything, a chill ran down my spine. First of all, I don’t smoke. Second, we always kept condoms in the nightstand drawer, so there was no reason to put one in my lunch box. Third, she knew I was allergic to cilantro. Why would she deliberately add it to my food? I thought about it for a moment, then picked up my phone and called my lawyer. “I need you to draw up divorce papers.” My lawyer happened to be my sister. When she heard I wanted a divorce, she screamed. “Are you out of your mind? Emma treats you so well! Just because she put cilantro in your food, you want a divorce? Don’t you think that’s a bit of an overreaction?” “Ryan, you’re being completely unreasonable. I’m not helping you with this divorce.” Before I could even respond, my sister had already made her stance clear. “Emma is amazing. Don’t be so petty over something small. Her cooking is delicious.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my sister’s words. “You’re my lawyer. Can you at least try to be professional?” “I don’t care. You hired me as your lawyer, but I’m also Emma’s biggest supporter. If you want to divorce her, I’ll be the first to object.” My sister’s voice dripped with anger. “And if you think I’m going to draft divorce papers for you, forget it.” She hung up with a loud click. My sister had only graduated two years ago, and I’d gotten her a job at my company. Still too young. Too emotional. I didn’t bother arguing with her. Instead, I quickly reached out to a more professional legal team. Once I’d discussed everything with them, I had to admit—their efficiency was impressive. By the time I was about to leave work, the divorce agreement had already been drafted. Regarding the division of assets, the lawyers also offered some professional advice. They suggested I find the person who “ate the cilantro.” I understood what they meant. “Can I authorize you to handle this entirely? Money isn’t an issue.” “Mr. Carter, thank you for your trust. We won’t let you down.” The moment I hung up, my phone rang again. I glanced at the caller ID. It was my dad. He didn’t waste any time. His voice was harsh. “Get home within an hour, or I’m disowning you.” The line went dead. I stood there, speechless. I really hadn’t expected my sister, a lawyer, to have zero professional integrity. In the blink of an eye, her mouth had turned into a megaphone, spreading the news everywhere. I had no choice. I quickly gathered my things and drove to my parents’ house. The moment I stepped inside, I could feel something was off. Several figures sat in the living room. Every face was tight with tension, clearly serious. “Ryan, you’re back.” My sister spoke first. I shot her a look. She immediately fired back, undeterred. “What? I don’t agree with you divorcing Emma. And it’s not just me—Mom and Dad don’t agree either.” Her words drew everyone’s attention to me. My wife Emma was there too. She was sobbing, tears streaming down her face like rain on delicate petals. My parents were doing their best to comfort her. “You ungrateful bastard, you finally decided to show up.” My dad glared at me. “What are you standing there for? Get over here and apologize to Emma!” “Who gave you the nerve to divorce her?” My mom was equally furious. “I’m warning you—if you dare divorce Emma, I’ll cut ties with you as my son.” My sister crossed her arms and stood beside my parents, making her position crystal clear. In their eyes, Emma was a gentle, kind, and devoted wife. In the seven years we’d been married, she’d kept our home running smoothly. She’d treated my parents and my sister well enough. But even so, I wasn’t going to back down. This divorce was happening.

“Please don’t be angry with him. This isn’t Ryan’s fault. I must have done something wrong to upset him.” Emma started blaming herself. Her words only made my parents angrier. Suddenly, my dad rushed forward and slapped me across the face. “Emma married you. All these years, she’s given you children, taken care of me and your mother. She’s been nothing but dedicated. With a wife like her, what more could you possibly want?” “She gave you a child! How can you be so clueless?” “Get on your knees right now and apologize to her. Beg her to forgive you.” My dad’s voice was a command. “Mom, Dad—it’s my fault. I forgot Ryan is allergic to cilantro. If he eats it, his skin breaks out in a rash.” “I was up late last night helping our son with his homework, so I made a mistake when I prepared lunch this morning.” Emma walked up to me. “Ryan, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I’ll be more careful from now on.” My sister stood across from me, teeth clenched and eyes blazing. She was naturally blunt, and fresh out of law school, still full of righteous indignation. Watching Emma apologize to me was too much for her. “Ryan, you’re such a bully! I can’t stand this. Emma is so wonderful, and look how you’ve treated her!” “Emma, come here. I’ll protect you.” My sister pulled Emma to her side. My mom joined in. “Why are you just standing there? Apologize to Emma! Tell her you won’t go through with the divorce. Ask for her forgiveness.” “Mom, Dad—what happens between me and Emma is none of your concern. This divorce is happening.” I knew that no matter what I said, it wouldn’t make a difference. So I turned and walked out. Once outside, I texted the legal team, asking when they’d have the evidence ready. Their reply came quickly. “Mr. Carter, we need some time. Please be patient.” I understood. Some things couldn’t be rushed. That night, I went home. Before long, Emma returned with our five-year-old son. The boy looked at me with something like fear in his eyes. When I glanced his way, he hid behind Emma. “Lucas, go to your room and rest. Mommy will come tell you a story later.” Lucas nodded obediently and ran off to his room. Emma sat down across from me. I pulled out the divorce papers and tossed them in front of her. “Look these over. If everything’s in order, sign them.” Emma glanced at the papers, then threw them back on the table. “Ryan, our son is still young. Are you really this heartless?” She was putting on another performance. “Let’s cut the act. I don’t want to play games with you. If you don’t sign, we’ll see each other in court.” My voice was cold. The pitiful expression on Emma’s face flickered and vanished. A cold smirk curled at the corner of her lips. “I’m not signing this. If you really want a divorce, the child stays with me, and you give me ten million dollars as compensation. Otherwise, there’s nothing to discuss.” “And whether you agree or not doesn’t matter. If you don’t cooperate, I’ll show you what I’m capable of.” “You know your parents and your sister are on my side. If you divorce me, you’ll be branded as an ungrateful, disloyal son. That kind of reputation can destroy you.” Emma’s entire demeanor had shifted. The woman standing before me now felt like a stranger. I steadied myself. “I’d love to see what you’re capable of.” I gathered the divorce papers and said nothing more.

The next morning, the news exploded. “CEO Demands Divorce Because Wife Put Cilantro in His Food!” The story shot straight to the top of the trending topics. My secretary told me about it while I was in my office. I clicked on the headline. According to the article, someone had anonymously leaked information—including a recording from inside my house the night before. Anonymous? Please. It was a pathetic attempt at misdirection. Thinking back to what Emma had said about showing me her “capabilities,” there was no doubt she was behind this. The story blew up online. Soon, videos surfaced of my parents and sister being interviewed. In the footage, they righteously condemned me. No question—Emma had orchestrated the whole thing. “If he dares divorce Emma, our whole family will disown him. But if he comes to his senses, I might give him one more chance.” In the video, Emma still played the victim perfectly. The comments were brutal. “What kind of man is this? Even his own parents have turned against him! He must be absolute garbage!” “When his parents and sister side with the daughter-in-law, that says everything about his character.” “He’s definitely got someone on the side. He’s tired of his wife and wants to dump her for a younger model! I’ve seen his type a thousand times!” “Boycott his company! Don’t buy any of his products!” The outrage spread like wildfire. By the end of the workday, Emma called me. “Ryan, have you seen what I can do now? Ready to agree to my terms?” “Don’t bother trying to record this. I’m not falling for that. I sent you an address—let’s meet in person.” “No need to meet. And I wasn’t planning to record anything. I’m not agreeing to any of your conditions. In fact, I’m going to make sure you leave this marriage with nothing.” Emma laughed coldly. “If you won’t cooperate, don’t blame me for destroying you.” “If you think you can, go ahead and try.” I hung up. After taking a deep breath, I mailed out the hair samples I’d collected—mine and the child’s. Over the next two weeks, I faced attacks from every direction. My company ground to a halt. My own employees turned against me. Many resigned. Some even demanded that I apologize to Emma and admit I was wrong. My family publicly announced they were cutting ties with me. Overnight, I became a pariah—a man everyone wanted to see destroyed. Then Emma called again. “Ryan, are you ready to get on your knees and beg? Maybe if I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you off easy.” I said nothing and hung up. Finally, the legal team called. “Mr. Carter, we’re sorry for what you’ve been through. We’ve gathered all the evidence. We’re ready to go to court.” At the same time, I received the paternity test results. The child was not mine. “Mr. Carter? Are you there?” I took a deep breath. “Yes. File for a hearing tomorrow.” Emma, the truth will come out tomorrow. And when it does, you’ll pay for everything. Every last bit of it. I was going to show her what “revenge” really felt like.

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