On my third Christmas with Benjamin Scott, I took a knife for him during a robbery. The ugly scar left on my abdomen made it nearly impossible for me to conceive naturally. Back then, Benjamin would always gently kiss that scar when we made love, saying, “Vanessa, this is proof of our love.” But after we married and I finally got pregnant through IVF, I overheard him mocking me to his friends: “I close my eyes every time I sleep with her, afraid I’ll throw up if I look at it too long.” In that moment, I was devastated, while he held his new lover, tenderly kissing her flat stomach. I was completely crushed. I finally understood that even if he had truly loved me once, he now found me repulsive. ***** When I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed and wanted to share this hard-won news with Benjamin. But as I reached his office door, I heard someone calling his name. “Benjamin, you’ve got it all. Not only do you have a wife who loves you, but you’ve also got a gorgeous mistress.” “Look at Dina! She’s really hot.” I froze. My heart felt like it had been shattered, despair spreading from my chest throughout my entire body. Dina—such a familiar name. A few years ago, when I took that knife to save Benjamin, I was stabbed in the abdomen by the robber. When I was rushed to the ER, the nurse who changed my dressings was Dina Meyer. But for some reason, Dina always “accidentally” gave me the wrong medication. She would even roughly tear at my unhealed wound when changing my bandages, making me gasp in pain. Dina’s actions caused my wound to fester, ultimately leaving a permanent scar that could never be removed. I wanted to file a complaint against her multiple times, but Benjamin would always hold my hand and tell me to be understanding. “After all, she’s a new nurse. We should give her more chances.” “Vanessa, you’ve recovered now, haven’t you? It’s not a big deal.” “What matters most right now is taking care of yourself. Don’t worry about these little things.” In the office, Benjamin let out a theatrical sigh, as if he were deeply troubled. “How could you guys understand the burden of having two women?” Then came a chorus of flattering voices from the office. “Sure, Vanessa is considerate, but that scar on her belly is just disgusting. I close my eyes every time I sleep with her, afraid I’ll puke if I look at it.” “On the other hand, Dina is definitely sexy, but she’s too high-maintenance and never considerate. Even though I’m busy with work, I still have to comfort her every day.” “Oh, I just hope Vanessa hurries up and has this baby, so I won’t have to touch her for at least ten months.” That relieved tone in his final words made my whole body tremble uncontrollably. I clutched the pregnancy test results tightly, my fingertips ice-cold, nearly fainting. I had thought this child was a symbol of our love, but reality had slapped me hard across the face. The knife I took for Benjamin that Christmas had struck near my uterus. The doctor said my chances of natural conception were virtually zero. Over the past few years, I’d visited countless hospitals and undergone IVF three times. I’d even vomited constantly from all the fertility drugs I had to take. Watching needles as long as my arm pierce my body repeatedly for egg retrieval, I lost even my last shred of dignity. But even being stabbed by all those needles couldn’t compare to the pain I felt right now. I used to wake up from nightmares countless times in the middle of the night, always dreaming of that robber’s knife coming at me. Benjamin would always hold me tight, whispering comfort in my ear: “Don’t be afraid. I’m here. I’ll always protect you.” Only today did I realize that the most terrifying nightmare was this gentle trap he’d woven with love. Now I was awake from that dream, finally seeing reality clearly. Benjamin didn’t love me, and he certainly wouldn’t love our child. Amid the laughter, he added, “After our kid is born, I’ll find an excuse to sleep in separate rooms.” “Even though she’ll be out of shape after giving birth and the baby’s crying will disturb my sleep, she still won’t blame me. She probably won’t just not blame me—she’ll probably feel guilty about it.”
I sat in my car, devastated, letting tears stream down my face unchecked. Memories flooded back like a tide, and I remembered Benjamin from all those Christmases ago when we were young. Our reunion after so many years made me naively believe it was destined fate, until that night when we encountered robbers on our way home after working late together. Those thugs were vicious—they didn’t even bother with our wallets, lunging straight at Benjamin with a knife. In that instant, I threw myself in front of him without hesitation. As my consciousness began to fade, I heard Benjamin holding me, screaming desperately: “Vanessa, don’t sleep! Please open your eyes! As long as you wake up, we’ll get married right away. We’ll never be apart again in this lifetime.” Later, I tentatively asked if he minded the scar on my abdomen. He gently kissed that terrible wound, his eyes full of tenderness: “Vanessa, this is the mark you left for me, proof of our love, and fate’s test for me.” In that moment, I felt like I could hear fireworks blooming in my heart. As if possessed, I extended my hand, letting him slip the engagement ring onto my finger. After our engagement, he was gentle and considerate toward me. To plan the perfect wedding, he took me to every wedding planning company in the city—I tried on over a dozen wedding dresses alone. Back then, I naively thought I was the happiest girl in the world. However, reality dealt me a crushing blow. When office hours ended, the glass doors of the building opened, and Benjamin slowly walked out. He looked sharp in his suit, elegant and refined, flashing a gentle smile in my direction. I suddenly felt dazed, thinking: “This refined gentleman in front of me is like a completely different person from the one in the office.” Suddenly, a woman in a white uniform fluttered into Benjamin’s arms like a butterfly, intimately settling onto his lap. As Benjamin lifted her with both hands, the girl hooked her arms around his neck and kissed him, her eyes sparkling with laughter. Benjamin gently patted her back, signaling for her to get down. Then he smoothly pulled out his phone and sent me a message. My phone screen lit up. At that moment, if Benjamin had just glanced slightly to the side, he would have noticed his wife and her car, and even seen the new WhatsApp message on his wife’s phone. Benjamin: [I need to work late tonight. Honey, remember to lock the door and get some rest early. Don’t wait up for me.] The two of them walked away hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, disappearing around the corner, leaving me with nothing but overwhelming suffocation. This wasn’t the first time I’d discovered Benjamin’s connection with Dina. During my hospital stay after the injury, Benjamin was always going to the nurses’ station. Whenever I asked him about it, he said he was checking on my recovery progress. I even teased him about being overly anxious: “What patient’s family member bothers the nurses so often?” But Benjamin squeezed my hand tightly, his eyes full of affection: “I don’t care about others—I just want my wife to be safe.” He truly kept his word. He even asked for my permission before adding Dina’s WhatsApp account. “This way Ms. Meyer can provide remote guidance for your wound care.” I had been suspicious and secretly checked his phone. But their chat history really did contain only professional medical consultations, nothing inappropriate. Remembering how I almost filed a complaint against Dina, I even felt guilty, thinking I had wrongly suspected a dedicated nurse. The air was filled with lingering rose fragrance, identical to the unfamiliar scent that often clung to Benjamin. I quietly followed them to the city’s most luxurious wedding center. Through the glass window, I saw Dina wearing the very wedding dress I had finally chosen, admiring herself in the mirror with delight. She was even moved to tears. Clearly, this was a surprise Benjamin had carefully prepared for her. I bit down hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood on my tongue. Then I clenched my fists tightly, my nails leaving deep marks in my palms. I felt utterly heartbroken, as if I was gradually losing my life and ascending to heaven. So all those times he chose wedding services with me and tried on dresses—it was all to prepare a surprise for another woman. I gently touched my belly, whispering to myself: “I’ll use this unborn child to bless them.”
I returned to our shared apartment, feeling utterly defeated. This cramped apartment, barely three hundred square feet, was perhaps nothing more than an elaborate cage Benjamin had crafted for me. I had once suggested renting a larger place, but Benjamin swore he wanted to save money for our wedding, promising me the most magnificent ceremony. Now Benjamin was indeed planning a wedding, but the bride was no longer me. I silently burned the pregnancy test, watching the flames gradually consume the paper until it turned to ash. What remained of our relationship vanished with that wisp of smoke. The day’s events replayed in my mind like a carousel, impossible to shake. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back the tears. After what felt like an eternity, my phone suddenly rang, Benjamin’s name lighting up the screen. “Vanessa, I’m at the wedding planner’s right now. Send me your makeup artist’s contact info—I need to discuss the look details with her.” “Vanessa? Vanessa, are you listening?” “Hello, honey?” “Well, she can’t even hear what I’m saying. Did that scar on her belly somehow migrate to her brain?” I immediately hung up. My mouth fell slightly open as tears streamed down uncontrollably, yet no sound escaped. My makeup artist was a childhood friend. When she heard I was getting married, she specially designed a custom look just for me. At the time, Benjamin had criticized every aspect of her work and even got into a huge fight with my friend. Turns out he cared so much about how the bride would look on her wedding day. Too bad his bride was no longer me. The next morning, Benjamin suddenly came home. The moment he saw me, he gave me an enthusiastic hug, that sharp rose fragrance hitting me immediately. I suddenly felt nauseous and pushed him away, rushing to the bathroom to throw up. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you pregnant?” Benjamin pretended to pat my back gently, a flash of smugness in his eyes. “What? Are you hoping I’m pregnant? I still want to enjoy our time together.” A flicker of disgust crossed his eyes before he affectionately wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “I’m just worried about you having to take more medication and injections. If you really are pregnant, you wouldn’t have to suffer through all that.” I couldn’t tell if he was referring to the treatment process or his own torment when reluctantly sharing a bed with me. “I’ve decided to stop taking the medication. The doctor was right—I shouldn’t be so anxious about getting pregnant.” “We should focus on living well together first and let everything else happen naturally.” His body visibly stiffened, forcing a smile. After a long hesitation, he stammered, “Oh, okay.” “Well, honey, I still have some things to handle at the office. I just came back to check on you—I need to head out.” He bolted out the door like a startled cat, completely oblivious to the tracking device I’d quietly slipped into his pocket. Surprisingly, the GPS showed he was in the apartment building directly across from ours. I set up my binoculars and searched carefully, quickly spotting Dina applying makeup by the window. Benjamin entered with practiced ease, immediately pushing Dina down onto the couch. He was rough and crude, ignoring Dina’s frowning and pushing. He carelessly tore at Dina’s clothes, closing his eyes as he tenderly kissed her belly. The scene hit me like a thunderbolt—I was completely stunned and heartbroken. Memories flooded back like a tide, each detail cutting into my heart like a blade. He had kissed Dina on that same couch with those same movements. Back then, he had kissed my scar the same way, and I had naively thought it was a sign of acceptance. Now I realized it was just his habitual gesture. I clenched my fists tightly, nails digging deep into my palms without even noticing. Tears blurred my vision so badly I couldn’t even see what they did next. I could only vaguely make out that after they finished, Benjamin carried Dina into the bathroom.
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