At the kindergarten parent-teacher conference, the teacher asked Tobias what his dream was. Tobias blinked his innocent eyes and said he hoped Mommy could get plastic surgery. Before I could even recover from the whispers of the parents around me, Tobias’s next words pierced my heart like a knife. “I want Mommy to become as beautiful as Aunt Ella, so Daddy will be happy when he sees her.” In that moment, I suddenly realized there was no point in continuing this marriage. ***** When Lucien came home, the house was pitch black with all the lights off. He flicked on the lights and saw me sitting alone at the dining table. “Where’s our son?” He frowned, noticing my red, swollen eyes, then asked, “What’s wrong with you now?” “Did you watch the video the teacher posted in the group chat this afternoon?” I asked him. “I was too busy this afternoon.” He brushed me off while pulling out his phone. Actually, I had specifically asked the teacher to post that video. The kindergarten usually records highlights from parent meetings and shares them in the parent group, but my son’s segment was too dramatic, so the teachers skipped it entirely. In the past, I might have just let it go. After all, what my son said was truly embarrassing for a mother to hear. But today, I suddenly didn’t want to silently endure this humiliation anymore. Why should I always be the one making concessions and covering things up when it’s not even my fault? I’m the one being hurt here, aren’t I? Tobias’s innocent voice came through his phone… A rare look of embarrassment crossed Lucien’s face. “Contact the teacher and have her delete this video,” Lucien told me. “Why? Did Tobias say something he shouldn’t have? Why delete it?” I looked up, meeting his gaze directly. “Kaia,” he said my name with some impatience, “Tobias is only four years old. You don’t need to take it out on a child. Have the teacher delete it—other parents might get the wrong idea.” I laughed coldly. “He’s a child, but you’re not. Lucien, even four-year-old Tobias can see that you treat Ella differently. Are you going to keep lying to yourself?” My words seemed to anger him as he frowned deeply. “I’ve told you countless times—there’s nothing between Ella and me, and there never will be. Why do you keep obsessing over her?” He suppressed his temper and tried to put his arm around me. “How about I apologize on behalf of our son? I promise you, Ella and her husband are very happy together. Nothing could ever happen between her and me.” Maybe he didn’t even realize it himself, but his words actually made the cause and effect crystal clear—because she and her husband are happy together, that’s why nothing could happen between him and her. I couldn’t hold back, and tears started flowing again. “Lucien, stay at your mother’s house tonight.” What I really wanted to say was: Lucien, let’s get divorced. But I was too exhausted today and had no energy left to argue with him. He was about to say something when his phone suddenly rang. He glanced at it, looking embarrassed, but still answered. “What? How could you be so careless? Okay, I’m coming right over.” After hanging up, he hurriedly put on his coat while saying, “Kaia, Ella was in a car accident and is hospitalized. I need to go check on her. Stop making a scene, and remember to pick up Tobias from my mother’s tomorrow.” “Lucien, Ella is married—she has a husband. Why should you be the one rushing to her side when she’s in an accident?” I asked with a cold laugh. He finally stopped and turned to look at me with disbelief. “Kaia, stop being so unreasonable, okay? Ella was in a car accident and needs to be hospitalized. Do you know how dangerous that could be?” I laughed coldly. “How dangerous? If it were really life-threatening, the hospital would contact her husband first, not have her call her ex-boyfriend!” His expression turned cold as he looked at me like I was a stranger. “Kaia, are you seriously picking the wrong time for this? I don’t want to fight with you.” The door slammed shut with a heavy bang, and the family portrait hanging by the entrance fell and shattered on the floor.
That night, I sat alone in the restaurant and finished an entire bottle of wine. I couldn’t understand why Lucien’s heart just wouldn’t warm up to me. Lucien and I met through a blind date. The first time I saw him, he was wearing a white shirt and dress pants, looking clean and polished—nothing like someone who needed to go on blind dates. Right from our first meeting, I told him straight up that if he wanted to marry me, he’d have to give my mom two hundred thousand dollars first, and I didn’t have a dowry. He laughed and said he’d once loved a girl for many years. Later, that girl married someone else, and it took him a long time to get over it. Now he’d decided to let go of the past and start fresh. Find someone suitable to marry and have children with, then live a simple, happy life. He said he liked the feeling of being cared for, knowing that in this lonely city, there was always a light burning just for him. We talked for a long time, and finally he said, “It’s okay, Kaia. I’m willing to give you a home. From now on, I’ll be your family.” Those words really touched me. At that time, I desperately needed a home. I never asked him who was more important to him—me or Ella. I always believed that as long as we were together, as long as I worked hard enough to make him feel happy, someday his heart would lean toward me. Unfortunately, every day after that, I witnessed his unwavering love for Ella. While I was lost in these memories, my phone rang. I saw two messages from Ella. [Kaia, sorry about this. Old Liu is out of the country on business, and I really couldn’t find anyone else to help, so I contacted Lucien. Please don’t mind.] [Kaia, Lucien was wrong tonight. I’ve already criticized him for it. Don’t be angry anymore—I’ll have him apologize to you personally tomorrow.] Reading these messages, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Just how much of a failure was I as a wife that my husband’s ex-girlfriend was comforting me? I replied: [You two are really close. He just finished fighting with me here, and you already know about it from your hospital bed.] [No need for an apology. I’m planning to divorce him. After that, however he wants to please you will be his freedom.] Sure enough, Lucien’s call came through immediately. I hung up. He called again. Finally, I answered. “Kaia, are you sick?” Lucien’s voice was low, like he was in a hospital corridor. “Yes, I’m sick for marrying you. But does that mean I can’t have my own friends and social life? You didn’t have to talk about Ella so nastily. In the eyes of someone like you, everything is dirty. No wonder your mom doesn’t like you.” I thought I’d already given up on him, but hearing these words, my heart still ached. “Lucien, you’re such a bastard.” Sure enough, when you live under the same roof long enough, you both know each other’s sore spots, know exactly what to say to hurt the most. During our best times, we’d shared our pasts with each other. I told him about my broken family—my parents’ divorce, how I became an unwanted burden, finally taken away by my mom. After she remarried, I started living under someone else’s roof, not daring to take extra food at meals, not daring to spend an extra minute in the shower, even my toilet paper usage was restricted. The first time he heard this, he almost cried. He said, “Kaia, it’s okay. I’m your family now. We’ll have children later, and the kids and I will give you all our love, making up for all those years you were shortchanged.” But now, this man who once said he loved me was taking the knife I’d sharpened with my own hands and stabbing it deep into my heart.
Lucien didn’t come home until three days later. When he walked through the door, Tobias and I were on the floor building with blocks. Seeing his dad return, Tobias happily rushed over from the floor and threw his arms around him. But Lucien wasn’t in the mood to spend time with his son. He just brushed Tobias off with a few casual words and headed straight into the kitchen. We were still giving each other the cold shoulder, so he didn’t bother talking to me. However, the commotion from the kitchen gave away his frantic fumbling. Watching Tobias standing by the kitchen doorway with such hopeful anticipation, I finally walked over. “What are you doing?” He glanced up at me and muttered, “Pan-searing steak.” “Is it for Ella? You obviously can’t cook, so why not just buy something ready-made?” My tone was dripping with sarcasm. He said, “She thinks all the steaks from restaurants are frozen and unhealthy.” He lowered his head again, clumsily handling the fat with a kitchen knife. This man who had never set foot in the kitchen before or after marriage was actually learning to pan-sear steak for the woman he loved. If he weren’t my husband, I might have actually marveled at the power of love. Looking at Tobias standing nearby with such eager expectation, I finally took over what he was doing. “You’re not going to do it right. Let me handle this. Go spend time with your son—he really misses you.” I saw gratitude and guilt in his eyes. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, but I pulled away. By the time I came back out, father and son were already roughhousing on the floor. Lucien actually looked like a decent father in that moment. I watched for a while, then brought the pan-seared steak to the table and told Lucien, “You’d better get going. It won’t taste good if it sits too long.” Lucien stood up, clearly happy at that moment. “Thank you, Kaia.” He picked up the thermal container and was about to leave when Tobias wrapped his arms around his leg. Tobias said in his sweet little voice, “Daddy, I want to come too. Can you take me to see Aunt Ella? Tobias misses her too.” Lucien picked up Tobias and looked at me. I smiled and said, “If Tobias wants to go, then take him along.” Tobias excitedly urged Lucien to hurry up and leave. Before heading out, Lucien actually bothered to explain to me: “Ella’s been recovering well these past couple days. Once we find a caregiver in a few days, I won’t have to run to the hospital every day. Then I’ll spend more time with you and Tobias.” I just smiled. “Since she’s sick, you should take care of her first.” Watching father and son leave happily together, the last bit of hope I’d been clinging to finally snapped.
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