Mom came from another world. She was a “player” sent here on a mission. After winning Dad’s heart, she chose to stay here forever. We were happy, for a while. Then Dad fell for his secretary. “If you see her again, I’m leaving,” Mom warned. Dad scoffed. “Where would you go? You have no family here.” He thought he had her trapped. But when she really left, Dad lost it. I pushed open the bedroom door. Mom lay still on the bed. She looked asleep. “Mom?” I called softly. No response. No hug. Nothing. I touched her nose. No breath. My mom was gone.
Mom once told me she was a “player” from another world. She completed her mission and chose to stay. Her eyes sparkled when she said it. I didn’t get it then. “What was your mission, Mom?” I asked. She squeezed my hand. “To make your dad fall for me and have you, Lily. You’re my greatest gift.” She kissed my cheek. Said she’d never regret it. But Mom stopped smiling like that after Dad’s affair. Everyone said he’d dump us soon. I hugged Mom tight. I thought: Even if Dad doesn’t want her, it’s okay. Mom still wants me. She’ll stay forever.
Usually, Mom helped me dress and brush my teeth. “Lily, you’re ten now. Aren’t you embarrassed? What if your friends knew?” I’d pout. “They’d just be jealous that my mom loves me so much.” But now Mom was gone. I had to do it all myself. At breakfast, Mrs. Davis, our housekeeper, asked, “Why isn’t the missus up yet?” “Mom’s sleeping,” I said. Mrs. Davis was the nanny Mom hired. Paid ten years upfront to care for me. We never had help before. Mom did everything. My mom was Superwoman. After chores, tucking me in, and time with Dad, she’d study law for an hour each night. Prepping for the bar exam. Dad didn’t get it. “Why bother? You’re busy enough. I support you. Just relax.” Mom shook her head. “James, this is my dream.” Her eyes shone. She looked so beautiful. I think Dad thought so too. He’d pull her close, nuzzling her neck. Mom would blush and push him away. “Lily’s still here.” I knew they were about to play their “game” – one they never let me join. I wanted to beg to play just once. But Dad’s eyes fell on me. “Lily, out.” I lost my nerve and left. Dad was usually good to me, but I hated that look. It made me agree to things without thinking. Things were good for a while after that. Dad encouraged Mom’s bar prep. Stayed up late with her. But the day before the exam, he took her IDs and locked her in. Only brought me home after it was over. Mom’s eyes blazed. “James, I’ve been preparing for a year! Do you know how important this is?” Dad held her tight. “Emily, I’m sorry. It’s for our family. I want you home where I can reach you. Lily feels the same, right?” His eyes turned to me. I remembered what he’d said earlier. “If Mom becomes a lawyer, she’ll always be traveling. Meeting clients. She might forget you. What if she falls for someone else? She could leave us all behind.” It terrified me. I didn’t want Mom to leave. I tugged her hand. “Mom, don’t be mad. I don’t want you to go either.” Mom looked at me. All fight drained from her. She went limp in Dad’s arms. After a long silence, she said, “This is the last time.” Dad smiled, satisfied. Things went how I wanted. But seeing Mom’s dim eyes, I felt uneasy. Had I done something wrong?
After dinner, I watched Mom quietly. At ten, I understood death. But I wasn’t scared. Mom said she came here at eighteen. In her world, she was on life support. When she finished her mission, the “system” gave her two choices: go home or stay. She wanted to see her mom but couldn’t leave Dad or baby me. So she stayed. I once asked, “Mom, will you stay with Lily forever?” “Of course,” she said. I held those words close. Now, I just tapped her nose. “Mom, you liar,” I whispered. The doorbell rang. Not Dad; he hadn’t been home in ages. I heard Ms. Wilson outside. “Lily, open up. I’m here to take you home. I’ll be your new mom.” I yelled back, “Go away! You’re not my mom. You’re a homewrecker!” After quitting the bar, Mom devoted herself to us. We were happy. I thought we always would be. Then Ms. Wilson showed up. Dad’s new secretary. Always fumbling things. Dad complained about her constantly. I was confused – if he hated her, why not fire her? But he came home later and later. Sometimes not at all. Ms. Wilson appeared in Dad’s social media. Once, shopping with Mom, we spotted them at the mall. Mom dropped a vase. Dad looked over, panicked. He let go of Ms. Wilson and tried to chase us. But Mom scooped me up and ran. That night, they fought. I hid, listening to Dad’s excuses. He claimed he was just helping Ms. Wilson. Said she was like a sister. It sounded so fake. In my class, Billy called girls his “sisters.” Everyone said he was playing around. Mom laughed coldly. She told Dad, “If you see her again, I’m leaving.” Dad got angry. “Where would you go? Who do you know here besides us?” Dad knew Mom was from another world. She gave up going home for him. She had nowhere else. I remember another time Dad made Mom mad. She stormed out with her bag. I begged Dad to find her. He just read his paper. “Where else could she go?” That night, Mom came back, eyes red. She held up a bag. “James, I bought dinner.” My favorite dumplings. Dad’s too. I ate happily. Then I saw Mom quietly eating old bread. I lost my appetite. I thought, if Mom had family here, she’d go to them. But her family was in another world. She had nowhere to go. Dad used this to control her.
Ms. Wilson knocked for a while, then stopped. I thought she left. An hour later, I heard someone picking the lock. The camera showed a strange man. I got scared. Mom said to find an adult if strangers came when I was alone. I ran to Mrs. Davis in the kitchen. “Someone’s outside. I don’t know them.” She grabbed a knife. We waited by the door. The lock opened. Ms. Wilson stood there smiling. She paid the locksmith. Mrs. Davis said, “Ms. Wilson, how could you do this?” She replied, “Lily, your dad asked me to get you. You wouldn’t see me, so I had to do this.” She reached for me. I bit her hand hard. “I won’t go with you,” I shouted. “Give up!” She screamed. I tasted blood. I let go. She pushed me down and stormed off. My hand got cut. Mrs. Davis brought the first aid kit. Even though she bandaged me, I said, “Mom, it hurts.” But my mom couldn’t hear me anymore. Before, Mom was always with us. Now she was gone. I realized what missing her felt like. I remembered Chinese New Year when I was six. Dad took us to the family dinner. It was full of relatives. Uncles, aunts, grandparents. So lively. But only Mom was there with me. She cooked everything herself that day. We ate while she was still in the kitchen. The uncles told Dad, “You married a great woman.” Dad smiled proudly. Mom brushed her hair back, wiped flour off her face, and smiled shyly. When she finally sat down, most food was gone. I said I was full and sleepy. She ate a few bites and took me upstairs. At the stairs, Mom stopped and looked back. I looked too. Grandparents giving out money, uncles talking work with Dad, aunts playing cards. They were all family. Mom stared for a long time. I asked, “Mom, what’s wrong?” She looked at me. Behind her was noise and light, but her eyes were so sad. “Lily, what do you think Grandma is doing now?” So my mom missed her mom too!
Mrs. Davis finished bandaging me. She frowned at Mom’s room. “It’s almost dark. Why hasn’t she woken up?” I said, “Mom’s tired. Let her sleep.” She sighed. “It’s been days. The master hasn’t checked on her.” Dad hadn’t been home in ages. He said he was on a trip, but he took Ms. Wilson on vacation. Ms. Wilson showed Mom the photos. Told her to divorce Dad. Mom’s eyes went red. She’d wanted to go there for so long. She always asked Dad, but he was too busy. Now he took Ms. Wilson instead. Mom showed Dad the photos. His face changed. He said they were fake. Photoshopped. Mom’s eyes filled with sadness. “James, what did you promise when we married? To love only me, be good only to me.” “Why else would I stay here?” Dad said, “Haven’t I been good? A million-dollar house, expensive jewelry, designer clothes. I’ve given you everything.” “Isn’t that enough?” Mom shook her head. “You just don’t get it.” She threw out all his stuff. Dad felt embarrassed. Said he wouldn’t come back. From that day, he really moved out. Soon after, Ms. Wilson’s place caught fire. She moved in with Dad. When we heard, Mom didn’t cry. She just hugged me. She said she now understood. People change. Love changes. Vows only count when made. She realized too late. No use regretting now. 8 That night, I did everything myself. Brushed my teeth. Washed up. Then I climbed next to Mom and hugged her. Even though she was stiff and cold, having her there made me happy. I once asked Mom about her mother. Mom said her mom was strict. Always scolding and hitting her for not doing homework. I frowned. Didn’t understand why Mom would miss someone like that. Sometimes Mom had nightmares. She’d call for her mom, not Dad. Her tone changed. “But when I got leukemia at sixteen, she never yelled again.” “She quit her job, sold our house, stayed with me in the hospital every day.” “My mom loved me very much too.” She sounded proud and sad. I knew Mom never forgot her mother. She was just a girl when she came here at eighteen. The day she found out about Dad’s vacation, Mom cried alone by the window. She said she shouldn’t have been blinded by love. Giving up everything, even her mom. Now she could never see her again. 9 Mom actually asked Dad for a divorce once. A month after he moved out, she called him home. Dad came in a black suit. Hair gelled. Looking extra handsome. Mom made a big dinner. Dad said smugly, “Thought it through?” I sat happily, hoping they’d make up. But Mom put down her chopsticks. “James, let’s divorce.” I knew what divorce meant. Mom and Dad apart forever. Us rarely together. Dad’s face changed instantly. “Olivia, divorce over this? Is it necessary? I won’t do anything with Rachel. I still love you. Can’t you understand?” Mom said, “This isn’t small to me. You broke your vows. Betrayed our love. How can I understand?” Dad panicked but got angry. “Where would you go if we divorced? Who do you know besides us?” Mom choked up. “I’ll meet people. I’ll wash dishes or mop floors. I’ll survive with Lily somehow.” Dad laughed coldly. “Go ahead and try.” He turned and left. Mom sent out job applications. All rejected. She kept trying. Hundreds, thousands of times. Until someone told her, “Mrs. Jiang, your husband spread the word. No one dares hire you.” A lawyer came with papers. “This shows your assets versus Mr. Jiang’s,” he said. “In a custody battle—” He pushed up his glasses. “You have no chance.” Mom went pale. I clutched her clothes, scared to speak. Soon, all Dad’s relatives came. They surrounded Mom. Interrogating her. “James is such a catch. You still want to divorce? You won’t find better.” “So ungrateful. What did he see in her?” Mom said coldly, “Stop. I want the divorce.” Someone softened their tone. “Olivia, think of the child. How sad she’d be if you divorced.” Mom’s face softened. They pounced. “Children need a healthy home.” “It’s all for the child. What can’t you endure?” Someone pushed me to Mom. “Lily, do you want your parents to divorce?” “You’ll be motherless if they do.” I burst into tears. Hugged Mom tight. “Mom, please don’t leave Dad. I can’t lose you.” Mom looked at me blankly. Her eyes watered. “Forget it,” she whispered. Like a sigh. Mom gave up. I thought this would keep her forever. I didn’t know some birds can’t be caged. Their feathers shine with freedom.
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