Everyone in NYC knew Jaxson Reed, the Reed family heir, was head-over-heels for me. He’d shamelessly flaunt our relationship, talking about starting a huge family with me, and every time he did, I’d blush fiercely. To make his dreams come true, after every intimate moment, I’d secretly spend half an hour trying every old wives’ tale in the book. That was until a few days ago. Jaxson had too much to drink at a party. When I went to pick him up, one of his buddies, clearly wasted, pointed at me and slurred, “You, and Jaxson’s ex, and his ex before that—you’re all just stand-ins for his first love.” It turns out Jaxson and Seraphina Thorne were high school sweethearts. The year he loved her most, Seraphina broke up with him and moved abroad without a second thought. He got lost in the past, becoming a playboy, dating one girlfriend after another. And every single one of them, including me, carried Seraphina’s shadow. Even his refusal to inherit the family business after graduation, opting to be a race car driver instead, was because of something Seraphina had said years ago: “Race car drivers are so hot! My future husband *has* to be a race car driver.” Six years of my youth, six years of my genuine heart, all just a cruel illusion. In that moment, I made the decision to return home and accept a family arrangement. I was done with Jaxson. I wouldn’t, *couldn’t*, love him anymore. My soft voice cut through the silent night, clearer than I expected. “Liam, I’ve agreed to the family arrangement.” My brother, Liam Parker, on the other end of the line, finally breathed a sigh of relief. “So you’re finally ready to break up with that boyfriend of yours? After all these years, he wouldn’t even come home to meet Mom and Dad. I always knew you two wouldn’t last.” Hearing his confident tone, I lowered my eyes and mumbled a quiet agreement. “I was wrong before. I’ll wrap things up here as soon as possible. You can handle the wedding arrangements; just give me half a month.” “Don’t worry about the wedding, we’ll take care of everything. You just need to be back in time. This time, Mom, Dad, and I carefully selected your partner. He comes from a good family, has a great personality, and he’s handsome. He’ll definitely impress you.” “Oh, and when you come back for the wedding, remember to invite someone for me. My best buddy, Jaxson Reed. You lived with him for a while when you went to college in NYC, didn’t you? He took good care of you back then, so make sure to invite him to the wedding.” I didn’t know how to respond to that. After a long silence, I finally whispered, “He can’t make it.” Before I finished speaking, the door swung open. With a quick flick of my wrist, I hung up the phone and looked up at Jaxson, who had just returned. He raised an eyebrow, a cocky, arrogant grin spreading across his face. “I can’t make it? Can’t make it where?” *My wedding.* I answered him in my head. But on the surface, I remained calm, seemingly unaffected by anything. My voice was flat. “Nothing.” Jaxson didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, casually unbuttoning his black shirt. “Just talking to your brother?” I hummed in response, getting up to go to the bedroom, but he pulled my hand, circling me into his embrace. His hot breath brushed against my ear, and an electric tension sparked between us. “So, did you tell him what we are?” I managed a small laugh, though it didn’t reach my eyes. “Didn’t you want to keep it a secret?” “Not that I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t. Knowing your brother, if he found out his best friend was dating his precious sister, he’d probably fly to NYC tonight and beat me to a pulp.” Listening to his joking tone, my eyelashes trembled slightly, but my voice remained calm. “So, in your heart, am I your girlfriend?” Jaxson raised an eyebrow, surprised by my sudden question. “Not my girlfriend? We’ve lived together for six years! Not my girlfriend? I come home and immediately hug you? Not my girlfriend, and I do *this* to you?” As he spoke, his warm lips brushed against my neck. My body tensed instantly, and I quickly turned my head, dodging his kiss. “I… I don’t feel well today.” Jaxson mistook my discomfort for shyness and chuckled. “My little girlfriend, we’ve been together so long, why are you still so shy?” He ruffled my hair, then turned and headed to the bathroom. Listening to his receding footsteps, I finally repeated the question to myself. *Girlfriend?* *Shouldn’t it be… stand-in?* I first met Jaxson eight years ago. He and Liam were college roommates, and because they were close, Liam would occasionally bring him home to play video games. It was puppy love at first sight; I instantly fell for the cool, lazy, devastatingly handsome older brother. Later, I graduated high school, and Jaxson also graduated and returned to his hometown in NYC. Longing to be near him, I defied my family’s objections and secretly applied to a university in his city. Because I was pretty and had been harassed by bad boys in high school, Liam didn’t feel safe leaving me alone in a new city. He entrusted me to Jaxson, his best friend, and arranged for me to stay in his apartment. At first, we didn’t have much interaction. I was busy with school, and Jaxson was busy with racing, and busy with dating—he changed girlfriends almost every three days. That was until my sophomore year, when Jaxson came home completely drunk. I stumbled around, trying my best to take care of him. Late that night, looking at him seemingly asleep on the couch, I was overcome by an impulse. I reached out, wanting to smooth away the frown lines on his face. The moment my skin touched his, his tightly closed eyes suddenly opened. Jaxson lazily lifted his eyelids, his voice low and magnetic. “You like me?” Caught off guard, my face flushed, and I sprang to my feet. “N-no…” He smiled languidly. “Don’t like me? Then why does your face get so red every time you see me, little sister?” I hadn’t realized he knew about my stolen glances. Before I could figure out what to do, he chuckled, cupped the back of my head, and pressed a light kiss on my lips. I melted into that tender, lingering kiss, utterly lost. After that passionate night, my once-peaceful life changed dramatically. Jaxson, who had been a wandering spirit, seemed to settle down, focusing solely on our relationship. I repeatedly refused my parents’ and Liam’s demands for me to return home for an arranged marriage, stubbornly staying in NYC, by his side. Every time, Liam would ask me, “Who’s in NYC that makes you stay there for six years and never come back?” Each time, I wanted to reveal my relationship with Jaxson, to tell everyone that I was dating my brother’s best friend. But Jaxson always stopped me. I never understood why, until now. It was because I was merely a stand-in for his first love. He didn’t love me at all. The next day, my biological clock woke me up at seven sharp. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Jaxson tidying his shirt in front of the mirror. His routine was usually reversed; seeing him up this early was a first in my memory. Hearing my footsteps, he turned to me and asked, “How do I look, little sis? Handsome today?” He was a natural model; even a simple black shirt usually looked great on him. Today, he’d made a special effort, and he was undeniably handsome, capable of charming any girl with just a lazy glance. I didn’t know why he was suddenly so concerned about his appearance. Normally, my heart would pound, but now I just calmly nodded. “Yeah, very handsome.” Jaxson didn’t notice my odd behavior. He curved his lips. “I have a party today. Be a good girl and stay home. I’ll bring you dessert when I get back.” With that, he turned and left. After his retreating figure disappeared, I went to pour myself a glass of water, noticing his phone left on the table. As I picked it up, I accidentally hit the power button. The screen lit up, revealing a new message. From someone saved as “Sera.” “Jax, it’s been eight years. I’m really looking forward to the party today. Are you?” My steps faltered at the sight of the message. So, his first love was back in town today. No wonder he was up so early, dressed so meticulously, with a noticeable glow about him. The next second, the front door swung open. Jaxson, who had turned back midway, suddenly returned to grab his phone. Before leaving, he glanced at the screen’s content, his steps pausing slightly, and he couldn’t help but look at me, who was eating breakfast. “Did you just look at my phone?” I looked up, my gaze calm. “No, why?” He finally smiled, as if relieved, said “Nothing,” and left again. This was the first time I felt I couldn’t read him. His heart was clearly with his first love; all his girlfriends were stand-ins for Seraphina. Logically, he shouldn’t care if I discovered the truth. So why did he care if I found out? Was he afraid of losing me? I didn’t want to delude myself into thinking he still harbored any love for me. Besides, I knew the loss was already a done deal. After breakfast, I sat down at my computer and opened my drawing software. I’m a graphic novelist, and with the wedding coming up, I probably wouldn’t be able to work for a long time. While I still had free time, I planned to finish all my remaining drafts. After a morning of work, I packed up half a day’s worth of progress and sent it to my editor, then had lunch. In the afternoon, taking advantage of the nice weather, I started decluttering. Couple’s mugs, keychains, scarves, jackets… I’d bought them little by little over the years, filling a large box. Every time I saw these items, I remembered the helpless look on Jaxson’s face when I’d gotten something new and insisted he wear or use it. “These are all just little girl’s trinkets. Do you really want your Jax to wear these out and be laughed at by his buddies?” Remembering those words, I dragged the box downstairs and tossed everything, box and all, into the trash bin. *Now it’s better. No one will laugh anymore.* Done with the swift disposal, I was about to go back inside when I turned around and bumped into a cool, firm embrace. Jaxson, who had returned without my knowing, put one arm around my shoulder and used the other to brush away my sweat-soaked bangs. “What did you throw away? Why are you all sweaty?” “Just useless trash.” I gave a casual excuse, and Jaxson didn’t suspect a thing. He pulled me upstairs. The moment the elevator doors opened, the sanitation truck rumbled by. Watching the box of items being taken away, I finally averted my gaze. *Trash. What kind of trash was that? Anyone who looked closely would have noticed, but he didn’t ask anything. It was only because he didn’t care.* A flicker of self-mockery crossed my eyes. My peripheral vision caught the unwavering smile on his face, and I paused. Jaxson had a pair of incredibly captivating eyes, and when he smiled, it was impossible to look away. Perhaps knowing this, he usually had a smile on his face. Others might think he was good-natured, but only I knew that his smile was superficial; it never reached his eyes. But today, all day long, when he smiled, his eyes held genuine happiness. Seeing Seraphina must have made him truly happy. As soon as we walked in, Jaxson noticed how empty the apartment felt. He looked around, a surprised expression on his face. “Did we get robbed? Why does it feel like so many things are missing? Where are the mugs? The throw pillows are gone too?” I was about to answer, but Jaxson’s phone buzzed several times. He glanced at the messages, quickly forgot about it, and walked into the study. Before closing the door, he instructed, “Hazel, I have something to do. You go to bed first, don’t wait up for me.” I didn’t ask anything and went to my bedroom alone. The clock on the wall struck midnight. My phone, tucked under my pillow, vibrated wildly. “Happy Birthday, Hazel!” “Happy 23rd Birthday, baby Hazel! Remember to eat cake!” Scrolling down, it was a stream of birthday wishes. My dad, mom, Liam, friends, classmates—everyone, even those thousands of miles away, had sent their blessings. Everyone except my boyfriend, who was just a few feet away, and seemed to have completely forgotten. *Because he had more important things to do.* I closed the half-watched movie on my laptop and clicked the constantly popping-up SnapChat icon in the bottom right corner. It was Jaxson chatting with Seraphina. He didn’t know his SnapChat was logged in on the laptop, and I could see all their conversations. I watched as they talked, from the past to the present, and then about the future. In the long, dense stream of messages, Jaxson never once mentioned me. *Of course. After all, I was just a stand-in, a mere comfort. Why would he mention me?* I watched the constantly refreshing dialogue and pressed the power-off button. I had no dreams that night. The next morning, I was woken by the doorbell. I rubbed my eyes as I walked into the living room and saw Jaxson, who had woken up at some point, holding a bouquet of flowers and a birthday cake. “Hazel, did you order a cake? Why the sudden craving?” A few seconds of silence filled the room before I spoke softly. “It’s my birthday. My friends probably had it delivered.” Jaxson froze. He instinctively looked at the wall calendar and realized it was July 12th. A flicker of guilt crossed his eyes. He quickly put down the items and gently guided me back to the bedroom. “It’s your birthday today. Let’s go out on a date. What do you want to eat?” “No need. Let’s just celebrate at home.” I declined his suggestion. But Jaxson insisted we go out to celebrate, even pulling a dress from the closet and handing it to me. I couldn’t argue with him, so I washed up and went out with him. We went to our favorite restaurant for brunch, then watched the latest movie, and browsed around the mall. In the middle of it, I went to the restroom. When I came back, I saw him on the phone, asking someone at home to order a very expensive necklace. It was the same necklace I’d seen in a magazine half a month ago and instantly fallen in love with. Watching his eager expression, a storm of emotions brewed inside me. I didn’t quite understand what was going on in his head. He remembered a necklace I’d only glanced at, yet he completely forgot my most important birthday. Couldn’t he tell what truly mattered? On second thought, he probably could. Before Seraphina returned, he used me, his stand-in, as a substitute for his affection, paying attention to me in every way. But after Seraphina’s return, all his attention shifted to her. So, anything related to me was simply forgotten. I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for the rest of the morning, finding little interest in anything. Jaxson noticed my distraction and ruffled my hair. “Little birthday girl, why do you seem unhappy? Aren’t you satisfied with my plans today?” Now that I thought about it, he always loved to ruffle my hair. Subconsciously, he probably always treated me more like a sister than a lover. I shook my head, about to say I was tired and wanted to go home, but Jaxson hailed a car and gave the driver the address of a mountain retreat. Seeing my surprised look, he raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t you always said you wanted to meet my friends? Everyone’s free today. I’ll take you to meet them. Will that make you happier?” This unexpected change of plans left me slightly stunned. In the past, Jaxson was unwilling to meet my family or friends, so I thought I’d try to meet his. But each time, he’d come up with various excuses to refuse. Over time, I stopped bringing it up. Now that I was about to leave NYC, he wanted to take me, probably out of a flicker of guilt. *The irony of it all, really.* I quietly watched the scenery flashing by outside the window, ultimately saying nothing. The taxi stopped halfway up the mountain. Jaxson took my hand and led me into the retreat, pushing open the heavy doors. *Bang, bang!* Confetti and streamers rained down from above. A crowd of people rushed out, shouting “Happy Birthday!” with huge grins. Seeing the commotion, Jaxson immediately pulled me into his arms, brushing the streamers from my hair while shooing away a few of his eager buddies. “Watch it, don’t scare my girl. She’s a bit…” His words trailed off abruptly. He stared at a familiar face in the crowd, his expression suddenly changing. Seraphina, however, looked completely at ease, smiling as she approached. “Jax, it’s been so many years since I moved abroad. I haven’t been to a group event in ages! This morning, I heard you were celebrating your girlfriend’s birthday, so I thought I’d join in. You don’t mind, do you?” Jaxson’s eyes scanned the room, cold and sharp. Everyone present lost the courage to meet his gaze, quickly looking away, pretending it had nothing to do with them. Just as the atmosphere threatened to turn frosty, I politely extended my hand and introduced myself. “Welcome. Nice to meet you. I’m Hazel Parker.” Seraphina stared at me for a long moment, then, as if realizing something, she smiled faintly and shook my hand. “Hello, I’m Seraphina Thorne, Jax’s… friend.” “Hazel, has anyone ever told you we look a little alike?”
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