I’m drop-dead gorgeous, but let’s be real, I’m not exactly firing on all cylinders upstairs. So, I get dragged into the palace to be a royal concubine. This one senator starts ranting: “Your Majesty, she’s a femme fatale…” I lift my veil, give him a look, and the guy just freezes. “She’s a femme fatale…whoa! Like, what a smokeshow. I propose we make her queen! They say beauty comes from within, and someone this stunning has gotta have a good heart, right?!?” Then there’s this other concubine, Susie, always doing the fake-nice act, like a total Karen. It got on my nerves, so one day, I just shoved her into the koi pond. Her brother, a hotshot army dude, storms into the palace, sword drawn, and glares at me. “You pushed my sister? Let me tell you, you…” I turned around, and the guy just stammered, his ears turning pink, voice going all high-pitched: “If…if you like pushing people, you… you can push me, too.”
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